Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Education is one of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
in
Change preposition
of
everyones
life. Most of the people accepted that the local authority may have been funded for Change to a genitive case
everyone's
the
cultural Correct article usage
apply
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
such
as dance, music
. Some Correct word choice
and music
person
argue that it is the Fix the agreement mistake
people
responsiblity
of the Correct your spelling
responsibility
familes
or Correct your spelling
families
family
business
owned privately.
On the one hand, today there are various Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
oppurunities
from the local Correct your spelling
opportunities
government
to learn daning
, Correct your spelling
dancing
singing
. If the Correct word choice
and singing
government
provide these oppurunities
they can develop the heritage. Correct your spelling
opportunities
Moreover
, kids who are talented coming from the
poor Correct article usage
apply
family
have to express their talent. Fix the agreement mistake
families
As a result
, today most of the cultural programs are organised by
Change preposition
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
fund
.
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
On the other hand
, the fund
for the arts forms like singing, Fix the agreement mistake
funds
dancing
for the children are from Correct word choice
and dancing
there
families or private Correct your spelling
their
business
. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Familes
can provide the fund throughout their business. Correct your spelling
Families
However
the
rich Correct article usage
apply
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
chave
easily Correct your spelling
can
funded
but the poor family not.
In my opinion Add a missing verb
be funded
government
authority can Correct article usage
the government
funded for
the talented Wrong verb form
fund
Correct your spelling
young
youngs
ones because Correct your spelling
young
youngesters
are the life of the world and they can Correct your spelling
youngsters
Correct your spelling
enhance
enchance
the world
To put Correct your spelling
enhance
in
a nutshell, both Correct pronoun usage
it in
government
and Correct article usage
the government
Correct your spelling
families
familes
have their own methods Correct your spelling
families
to
fundedChange preposition
of
Submitted by mariyamathew08 on
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Task Achievement
To improve in task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt. Your response should include a balanced discussion of both views and a clear, articulated personal opinion. You should develop ideas fully with explanations and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay into clear, logical paragraphs, each with a central idea. Make sure to use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. Mind your grammar and punctuation, as errors can impede the clear communication of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.