Some experts think that all students should learn musical instruments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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The importance of learning musical instruments for the students which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial

while

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others reject

this

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notion.The substantial influence of

this

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trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years.In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate my views for favouring the negative impact of

this

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trend and

thus

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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining

further

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, the first and foremost reason behind

this

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is that it is a waste of time to adopt

music

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since there are many trendy skills

such

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as information technology, and computer science which provide employment to individuals who are facing financial issues.

Also

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, big firms give high wages to their employees who have deep knowledge about the skills of Information technologies.

For example

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, most masses engage in musical activities, but is not give any benefits to them regarding finance and people waste their invaluable time on

music

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. Probing ahead, one

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

main underlying

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

stems from the fact

Unnecessary verb

apply

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that they are judged by the members of society.

To begin

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with , musicians have been criticised by their parents and members of the public because their families pressured them not to learn musical instruments since they thought it was not the right career for their children.

Moreover

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, some individuals mock them

while

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they learning the

music

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As a result

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, learners get stressed because of all these actions.

For example

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, if any student learning musical types of equipment

such

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as a guitar ,

then

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their families think that they are not focusing on their future and they scold their offspring, leading to their deteriorating conditions. In conclusion , there are several drawbacks in order to become a musician since it's wasting time and families

also

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pressure teenagers who acquire

music

Use synonyms

skills.

sarfaraz.zain619Sun Feb 11 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the question, but the extent of agreement or disagreement is not fully clear, which makes it difficult to assess if the response is complete. Make sure to state your position explicitly and develop your argument accordingly throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Provide a more nuanced argument by exploring both sides of the issue even if you favor one side, as this can help to fully meet the task requirements and show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your main points are clear and well-supported with relevant examples or explanations. The usage of an example referring to the financial benefits could be further explained to show its relevance to the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical flow of your essay can be improved. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to organize ideas and arguments clearly. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion that were not discussed in the main body.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review the use of cohesive devices and make sure they are used accurately and enhance the clarity of your argument. Some areas in the essay seem to lack clear connections between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea or topic sentence and that the following sentences expand on that idea in a coherent way. Some paragraphs may benefit from reorganization to better align with their stated main idea.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Some experts think that all students should learn musical instruments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctor and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Write a letter to a financial organization that gives money to students who would like to take part-time course. Mention - Qualification and work experience -Details abut the course -How this course will help you

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.