Some people say that governments should spend more money taking care elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
contemporary era,most of the individual's salary eaten
by taxes and a big question Add a missing verb
is eaten
raise
Verb problem
arises
that
where that Change preposition
about
money
should be utilized for best results.Some people
think that government
should spent
on educating youngsters Change the verb form
spend
whiler
Correct your spelling
while
other's
assume to spend more Change noun form
others
money
on old folks.I will discuss both views with credible examples in the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, Old people
spend their almost entire life
working for a nation and now Fix the agreement mistake
lives
its
the time for them to rest and enjoy the Correct your spelling
is
last
momments
of their precious lives. Correct your spelling
moments
Eventhough
, many aged individuals Correct your spelling
Even though
have'nt
any source of income to survive Correct your spelling
haven't
their
rest of life.So, the Change the word
the
money
spend
by Change the form of the verb
spent
government
on providing shelter,food and basic Add an article
the government
neccesties
of human Correct your spelling
necessities
being
to them will really aid them at their end times.Fix the agreement mistake
beings
Furthermore
,old people
are also
weak and most of them have several health issues which can be surprisingly costly for them.The money
from government
can save their lives and Add an article
the government
gave
them a new hope to live.
Wrong verb form
give
On the other hand
, young adults are upcoming future of any nation which helps to develop the infrastructure, economy and wealth of a country.Thus
, educating them will plays
a Change the verb form
play
pivot
role Replace the word
pivotal
to encourage
Change preposition
in encouraging
such
advancement.A large section of adults did not have enough funds to get a higher education due to
increasing inflation can enforce
them to remain uneducated. Verb problem
force
Unfortunatly
, Nowadays,Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
its
hard to survive without a Replace the word
it's
it is
well paying
job which requires a higher degree.Add a hyphen
well-paying
Also
,if higher authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
will
provide grants to Verb problem
apply
such
students then
they can contribute in
Change preposition
to
growth
of a nation by paying more taxes when they Add an article
the growth
will
get a job in future.
In conclusion,Verb problem
apply
i
think Change the capitalization
I
government
should establish a balance between both matters.They should use the money
for both youngsters and old people
acknowleding
only the Correct your spelling
acknowledging
people
who actually require money
based on their financial situations.Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on
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introduction
Ensure you have a clear opening statement that introduces the topic and clearly outlines your perspective. Making your thesis statement more specific can provide a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence
Work on creating a more logical flow between ideas. This can be achieved by using a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph
support
Develop your main points with specific examples and detail for each view to strengthen the argument. This adds depth to your response and demonstrates an understanding of the subject matter.
conclusion
Wrap up your essay with a conclusion that summarizes both views and clearly restates your opinion. Make sure your conclusion encapsulates your overall argument coherently.
task response
Strive to provide a balanced discussion that addresses the prompt fully, comparing both sides of the argument before giving your opinion. Offer insight into the implications of each view and how they contribute to society.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example