Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, most
of
parents complain that their Change preposition
apply
children
are spending their precious Use synonyms
time
on their Use synonyms
smartphones
. Use synonyms
They
afraid Add a verb
They are
They were
this
behavior could turn Linking Words
to
an addiction and ruin their sweetheart’s future. Technology has both positive and negative sides. I think if kids concentrate on the positives, they can Change preposition
into
use
Use synonyms
it’s
advantages to develop their goals. In Replace the word
its
this
essay, I will Linking Words
perform
my opinion and try to draw some conclusions.
Verb problem
present
Firstly
, Linking Words
children
could surf Use synonyms
through
the internet Change preposition
apply
by
their mobile Change preposition
on
phones
and learn new things Use synonyms
according to
their school lessons. Linking Words
For instance
, some students who are interested in physics, can find tutorial courses on the Youtube channels and expand their knowledge. By doing Linking Words
this
, talented pupils can develop Linking Words
in
a greater pace which is fantastic for their future ambitions.
Change preposition
at
Secondly
, Linking Words
smartphones
can help Use synonyms
children
to do their tasks and duties Use synonyms
easier
and Rephrase
more easily
also
with Linking Words
a
better discipline. What I mean is they can have a “Correct article usage
apply
to do
list” on their Add a hyphen
to-do
phones
and schedule their plans. They can Use synonyms
also
write down their sudden ideas in their text application wherever they are. Linking Words
This
can even lead to Linking Words
decrease
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a decrease
the
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in the
use
of paper and help the environment.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
children
can easily get into Use synonyms
addiction
trap of technology by wasting their Correct article usage
the addiction
time
scrolling through Instagram reels and chit chat with their friends. Use synonyms
This
is the dark side of Linking Words
smartphones
which made the parents Use synonyms
concern
about their kids. Some Wrong verb form
concerned
of
Change preposition
apply
the
parents try to control their Correct article usage
apply
child
by taking back their Fix the agreement mistake
children
phones
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
issue should be tackled by showing the disadvantages of wasting Linking Words
time
on the internet and misuse of Use synonyms
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phones
.
All things considered, everything in Use synonyms
this
world could be turned Linking Words
to
a harmful thing, if we Change preposition
into
use
it in Use synonyms
a
wrong way. Correct article usage
the
Children
can enjoy the advantages of learning and the ease of doing tasks Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
smartphones
or waste their Use synonyms
time
by watching useless clips. In my opinion, if Use synonyms
children
try to improve their self-control, they can Use synonyms
use
the facilities and Use synonyms
also
check their social media in their Linking Words
pleasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
.Use synonyms
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea. While you have good points, a few of them could be more distinctly separated into individual paragraphs for even greater clarity.
task achievement
Continue to provide specific examples, as you've done well. These examples strengthen your argument and make your response more compelling.
task achievement
Clarify your opinion in the introduction and ensure it is consistently referenced throughout your essay to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples that strongly support your points, enhancing the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.