Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, most
of
parents complain that their Change preposition
apply
children
are spending their precious time
on their smartphones
. They
afraid Add a verb
They are
They were
this
behavior could turn to
an addiction and ruin their sweetheart’s future. Technology has both positive and negative sides. I think if kids concentrate on the positives, they can Change preposition
into
use
it’s
advantages to develop their goals. In Replace the word
its
this
essay, I will perform
my opinion and try to draw some conclusions.
Verb problem
present
Firstly
, children
could surf through
the internet Change preposition
apply
by
their mobile Change preposition
on
phones
and learn new things according to
their school lessons. For instance
, some students who are interested in physics, can find tutorial courses on the Youtube channels and expand their knowledge. By doing this
, talented pupils can develop in
a greater pace which is fantastic for their future ambitions.
Change preposition
at
Secondly
, smartphones
can help children
to do their tasks and duties easier
and Rephrase
more easily
also
with a
better discipline. What I mean is they can have a “Correct article usage
apply
to do
list” on their Add a hyphen
to-do
phones
and schedule their plans. They can also
write down their sudden ideas in their text application wherever they are. This
can even lead to decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
the
Change preposition
in the
use
of paper and help the environment.
On the other hand
, some children
can easily get into addiction
trap of technology by wasting their Correct article usage
the addiction
time
scrolling through Instagram reels and chit chat with their friends. This
is the dark side of smartphones
which made the parents concern
about their kids. Some Wrong verb form
concerned
of
Change preposition
apply
the
parents try to control their Correct article usage
apply
child
by taking back their Fix the agreement mistake
children
phones
. However
, this
issue should be tackled by showing the disadvantages of wasting time
on the internet and misuse of the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phones
.
All things considered, everything in this
world could be turned to
a harmful thing, if we Change preposition
into
use
it in a
wrong way. Correct article usage
the
Children
can enjoy the advantages of learning and the ease of doing tasks by
Change preposition
with
smartphones
or waste their time
by watching useless clips. In my opinion, if children
try to improve their self-control, they can use
the facilities and also
check their social media in their pleasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea. While you have good points, a few of them could be more distinctly separated into individual paragraphs for even greater clarity.
task achievement
Continue to provide specific examples, as you've done well. These examples strengthen your argument and make your response more compelling.
task achievement
Clarify your opinion in the introduction and ensure it is consistently referenced throughout your essay to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples that strongly support your points, enhancing the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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