In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages
In most parts of the world, some communities argue that
increase
in life expectancyCorrect article usage
an increase
as
a challenge to the governing authorities Correct your spelling
is
while
others believe it is an advantage. In my conviction, having more older generation
would make more expertise in every field Fix the agreement mistake
generations
while
their health
would have a little impact on the economy of the country
. On that stand , I totally agrees
with the captioned statement that Change the verb form
agree
benifits
those created by the aged Correct your spelling
benefits
population
compensates
Correct subject-verb agreement
compensate
the
drawbacks for the Change preposition
for the
country
.
To begin
with, elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
population
takes the
leadership in most fields of the Correct article usage
apply
country
owning to their knowledge and experiences. such
as, they carry the
wealth of experiences which can be utilized to increase the productivity, and success of the business, education , homeland security and many more. These are regarded as the key aspects of a Correct article usage
a
country
.Therefore
, aged people regarded
as a valuable asset to every nation. Even, Add a missing verb
are regarded
high end
companies always try to keep their oldest individuals at the highest ranks to lead their own companies. Add a hyphen
high-end
for instance
, after the loss of Steave
Jobs Correct your spelling
Steve
in
Apple company, the directory board allocated the most experienced and older Tim Change preposition
at
cook
as the leader of the company.Capitalize word
Cook
Hence
, elderly workers would be a blessing for a
state.
Correct article usage
the
However
, with ageing comes the problem of health
into the act, and that limits the efficacy of the work that carries
out by elder individuals. Wrong verb form
is carried
For instance
, Australian
government Add an article
the Australian
had
spent 20 million Australian dollars on Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
the adalt
adalt
Correct your spelling
adult
population
in year
2023, Change the article
the year
and
which is only 0.5% Correct word choice
apply
from
Change preposition
of
gross
national income of the Add an article
the gross
country
. Therefore
, although
, their health
could matter on the national income, it's mostly insignifficant
to a Correct your spelling
insignificant
country
.
In conclusion, the elderly generation is carrying
vast knowledge and experiences which are valuable for the upliftment of a Wrong verb form
carries
country
, and drawbacks like their health
status would not be a major concern to a country
economically. As such
, this
writer is in agreement with the notion that the advantages of having an ageing population
outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. While the introduction in the essay seems to touch upon the topic, it can be improved by providing a thesis statement that directly addresses the extent to which the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
Logical Structure
Work on creating a clear structure within the essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and make the logical flow easier to follow. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Examples
Provide specific, relevant examples to support your main points. While examples are given, they could be more detailed and directly related to the topic to strengthen the argument.
Conclusion
End the essay with a conclusion that summarizes your position and main arguments. The conclusion should restate your thesis and the reasons for your position clearly, which will make your argument more persuasive.
Task Response
Strive for completeness in your response by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages more evenly. Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored and that your analysis covers the implications for society and government.
Coherence and Cohesion
Reduce grammatical errors and improve lexical resource by expanding your vocabulary, paying attention to word choice, and ensuring proper sentence structure.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...