People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #customs #traditions #country

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Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that individuals who migrate to a new

place

Use synonyms

should follow the practices and rituals which are native to that

place

Use synonyms

.I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion that

people

Use synonyms

should follow the

traditions

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of a new area where they

move

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. First of all,

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

the

traditions

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of a new

place

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

us to mitigate the feelings of isolation but

also

Linking Words

a way of showing respect

Change preposition

for

show examples

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

beliefs.

For example

Linking Words

, if you

move

Use synonyms

to a

country

Use synonyms

like Australia where

christmas

Change the capitalization

Christmas

show examples

is celebrated with pomp and show, and when you

also

Linking Words

take part in these festivals preparation you

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

feel

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

in a new

place

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

a method of displaying esteem for their moral values.

For example

Linking Words

, a person who adopts the

culture

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of a nation

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the message that he

respect

Correct subject-verb agreement

respects

show examples

the practices and rituals innate to that

place

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Thus

Linking Words

, following a

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country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

assists in removing

lonelinesss

Correct your spelling

loneliness

and

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a way to show respect for their

traditions

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Secondly

Linking Words

, if

people

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follow the migrating

country

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values it will assist them in building strong

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with others and

also

Linking Words

provide more career opportunities.

To begin

Linking Words

with, when

people

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try to absorb

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other cultures they get a chance to meet new

people

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and they make friends

Change preposition

show examples

new

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place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

immeditely

Correct your spelling

immediately

This

Linking Words

, in turn, will result in more employment opportunities as well.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when individuals mix with the

country

Use synonyms

culture

Use synonyms

where they

move

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it will

also

Linking Words

help them to increase their social circle and more jobs available to them as compared to those

people

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who remain isolated.

For instance

Linking Words

, American research shows that

people

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who diffuse

Change preposition

show examples

other

Use synonyms

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

feelings of

home sickness

Correct your spelling

homesickness

show examples

than those who do not adopt.

Therefore

Linking Words

, adopting new

place

Use synonyms

practices

also

Linking Words

assist

Correct subject-verb agreement

assists

show examples

in making new friends and finding more jobs. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that following a new

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place

Change noun form

place's

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

and

traditions

Use synonyms

only

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

benefits like, making new friends, more employment opportunities and no feelings of isolation.

However

Linking Words

, we should not forget

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own customs

while

Linking Words

Use synonyms

move

Change the verb form

moving

show examples

to a new

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by kashif.gujjar0700 on Sun Feb 11 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear overall progression, with paragraphs logically flowing from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words effectively to connect ideas.

Task Response

Develop your main points with a mix of general statements and specific details. Providing concrete examples can enhance your argument and make the essay more persuasive.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural assimilation
integration
traditions
customs
identity
diversity
tolerance
heritage
intercultural
enrichment
alienate
segregate
dialogue
uniformity
assimilate

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