Some people think I school graduate should travel or work for a period of time. Instead of going directly to the study at university discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#people #school #graduate #travel #work #period #time #study #university #approaches #reason

Most people think that students should take a break after the completion of their high school to travel or work and start their tertiary education.

This

essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

debate.

To begin

with, stopping studying for some interval of time can allow a citizen to do things which can help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

gain some interesting experiences which they cannot do

while

studying.

Moreover

, travelling and exploring things can

also

reduce mental pressure.

In addition

, working helps to save some money for future education.

For instance

, in India, 60% of the volunteers work after their high school to get admission to one of the top universities in India.

On the other hand

, there are some drawbacks of

this

phenomenon

Firstly

, pausing

Change preposition

show examples

study for a

while

, can change people's interest mindset towards it. They may lose interest in their studies

Furthermore

, they may get more attracted towards the small amount of money they earn.

According to

the survey by volunteers in Sydney, shows that 70% of the people who pause their study, for some interval of time lose their interest in learning.

To conclude

, the gap between high school and tertiary education could be highly beneficial for an individual if used in a good way.

Otherwise

, it can lead to unpredictable consequences.

Submitted by khushmankaur2911 on Sun Feb 11 2024

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introduction

Ensure the introduction provides a clear outline of what the essay will cover. The thesis statement should be explicit.

coherence

Use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, and to create a more cohesive argument.

cohesion

Develop your main points with clear supporting details and examples to strengthen arguments.

task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task equally to achieve a well-balanced response.

examples

Include more relevant specific examples to support your points for a stronger argument.

conclusion

Aim to write a conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also clearly states your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think I school graduate should travel or work for a period of time. Instead of going directly to the study at university discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

Your opinion

Many people use social media on regular basis in order to keep in touch with the news and with other people. Do you think that the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media have both negative and positive effect do you agree or not?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.