9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #activities

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Full-

time

Use synonyms

university

students

Use synonyms

should dedicate plenty

Use synonyms

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

studying.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

it is necessary to spend some

time

Use synonyms

on other

activities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explore

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

sides of having additional

activities

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while

Linking Words

studying full-

time

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in the educational institution. From my point of view, being involved in other

activities

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is helpful for absorbing information better.

While

Linking Words

you have a lot of on your

plae

Correct your spelling

plate

to study,

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

does not consume all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

way.

This

Linking Words

might lead to poor academic

perfomance

Correct your spelling

performance

and

unmativate

Correct your spelling

unmotivated

motivate

students

Use synonyms

Whereas

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of sports, dances, volunteering and so on,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

tend to show better themselves

Change preposition

show examples

educational

activities

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, BBC has written that the more people do active

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, the better academic achievement is shown among

students

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Secondly

Linking Words

, having other

activities

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increase student's skills and improve well-being.

Studens

Correct your spelling

Students

who have different hobbies are more versatile,

whch

Correct your spelling

which

also

Linking Words

may define their

leader

Replace the word

leadership

show examples

qualities. Even though,

students

Use synonyms

who have only one activity,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be great at it and can spend

time

Use synonyms

qualitively

Correct your spelling

qualitatively

despite the fact that sometimes it might be

time

Use synonyms

and

energy consuming

Add a hyphen

energy-consuming

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, Cambridge

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

says that having only one activity is quite enough to be the best at it. In conclusion,

althogh

Correct your spelling

although

you study

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

, it is essential to be

envolved

Correct your spelling

involved

in different

activities

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, it has

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on

health

Correct pronoun usage

your health

show examples

your

Correct word choice

and your

show examples

well-bieng

Correct your spelling

well-being

and

hepl

Correct your spelling

help

to succeed in education.

Submitted by burtebaeva02 on Mon Feb 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Reflect on and clearly outline your position throughout the essay more explicitly. While your conclusion mentions a stance, the introduction and body paragraphs should also clearly reflect your viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Strengthen your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated upon. Transition smoothly between ideas to guide the reader through your argument.

task response

Use specific, detailed examples to support your points. While you mention studies from BBC and Cambridge University, providing details about these studies or more varied examples would strengthen your argument.

general

Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by carefully proofreading your essay. Consider using tools or asking peers to review your work for errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

234 words

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9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You use public trasnport and have been facing issues. Write a letter to the public transport autoroties. In your letter include: why public transport is important to you what problem you face suggest what can be done to improve public transport

Some people think that detailed descriptions of crime scenes in newspapers and on TV can have a bad influence on the public, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people used distance- learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say zoos are cruelty to wild animals,while others think they can only be protected there.To what extent do you agree?