9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #activities

Full-

time

university

students

should dedicate plenty

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

studying.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

it is necessary to spend some

time

on other

activities

Change preposition

show examples

this

essay, I will explore

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

sides of having additional

activities

while

studying full-

time

in the educational institution. From my point of view, being involved in other

activities

is helpful for absorbing information better.

While

you have a lot of on your

plae

Correct your spelling

plate

to study,

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

does not consume all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

way.

This

might lead to poor academic

perfomance

Correct your spelling

performance

and

unmativate

Correct your spelling

unmotivated

motivate

students

Whereas

students

who attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of sports, dances, volunteering and so on,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

tend to show better themselves

Change preposition

show examples

educational

activities

For instance

, BBC has written that the more people do active

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, the better academic achievement is shown among

students

Secondly

, having other

activities

increase student's skills and improve well-being.

Studens

Correct your spelling

Students

who have different hobbies are more versatile,

whch

Correct your spelling

which

also

may define their

leader

Replace the word

leadership

show examples

qualities. Even though,

students

who have only one activity,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be great at it and can spend

time

qualitively

Correct your spelling

qualitatively

despite the fact that sometimes it might be

time

and

energy consuming

Add a hyphen

energy-consuming

show examples

For example

, Cambridge

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

says that having only one activity is quite enough to be the best at it. In conclusion,

althogh

Correct your spelling

although

you study

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

, it is essential to be

envolved

Correct your spelling

involved

in different

activities

. First and foremost, it has

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on

health

Correct pronoun usage

your health

show examples

your

Correct word choice

and your

show examples

well-bieng

Correct your spelling

well-being

and

hepl

Correct your spelling

help

to succeed in education.

Submitted by burtebaeva02 on Mon Feb 12 2024

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task response

Reflect on and clearly outline your position throughout the essay more explicitly. While your conclusion mentions a stance, the introduction and body paragraphs should also clearly reflect your viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Strengthen your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated upon. Transition smoothly between ideas to guide the reader through your argument.

task response

Use specific, detailed examples to support your points. While you mention studies from BBC and Cambridge University, providing details about these studies or more varied examples would strengthen your argument.

general

Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by carefully proofreading your essay. Consider using tools or asking peers to review your work for errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

234 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car fridge and tv do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

More and more business as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally of socially rather than being face to face. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communicating.

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way.