9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Full-
time
university students
should dedicate plenty time
Change preposition
of time
on
studying. Change preposition
to
However
it is necessary to spend some Add a comma
However,
time
on other activities
. On
Change preposition
In
this
essay, I will explore positive
sides of having additional Correct article usage
the positive
activities
while
studying full-time
in the
educational institution.
From my point of view, being involved in other activities
is helpful for absorbing information better. While
you have a lot of on your plae
to study, Correct your spelling
plate
brain
does not consume all Add an article
the brain
information
in Correct article usage
the information
right
way. Add an article
the right
This
might lead to poor academic perfomance
and Correct your spelling
performance
unmativate
Correct your spelling
unmotivated
motivate
students
. Whereas
, students
who attend to
different Change preposition
apply
kind
of sports, dances, volunteering and so on, Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
they
tend to show better themselves Correct pronoun usage
apply
at
educational Change preposition
in
activities
. For instance
, BBC has written that the more people do active sport
, the better academic achievement is shown among Fix the agreement mistake
sports
students
.
Secondly
, having other activities
increase student's skills and improve well-being. Studens
who have different hobbies are more versatile, Correct your spelling
Students
whch
Correct your spelling
which
also
may define their leader
qualities. Even though,Replace the word
leadership
students
who have only one activity,they
can be great at it and can spend Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
qualitively
despite the fact that sometimes it might be Correct your spelling
qualitatively
time
and energy consuming
. Add a hyphen
energy-consuming
For example
, Cambridge university
says that having only one activity is quite enough to be the best at it.
In conclusion, Capitalize word
University
althogh
you study Correct your spelling
although
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
, it is essential to be envolved
in different Correct your spelling
involved
activities
. First and foremost, it has positive
impact on Add an article
a positive
health
, Correct pronoun usage
your health
your
Correct word choice
and your
well-bieng
and Correct your spelling
well-being
hepl
to succeed in education.Correct your spelling
help
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task response
Reflect on and clearly outline your position throughout the essay more explicitly. While your conclusion mentions a stance, the introduction and body paragraphs should also clearly reflect your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated upon. Transition smoothly between ideas to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Use specific, detailed examples to support your points. While you mention studies from BBC and Cambridge University, providing details about these studies or more varied examples would strengthen your argument.
general
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by carefully proofreading your essay. Consider using tools or asking peers to review your work for errors.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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