Some people believe that continue university after finish school is the best way to get a good job, some people prefer to work to get experience. Discuss both views and opinion

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Most
of
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apply
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people decide to study at the university because they believe that have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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to
work
Use synonyms
at
leading
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the leading
a leading
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firm,
while
Linking Words
others prefer to opposite way
for
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to
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get experience. In my opinion, I prefer to continue in
institute
Add an article
the institute
show examples
and I will examine both
of
Change preposition
apply
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view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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with
this
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essay. The majority of students decide to study at the institute because,
first,
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having
specific
Add an article
a specific
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subject
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
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to pupils
such
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an
Correct your spelling
as
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engineering, computer science, medical etc., which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can have value in
Use synonyms
career
Add an article
a career
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in the future.
Second,
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many
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in many
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industries, a degree is now becoming increasingly popular or essential because some
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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need to certificate, in Thailand you will earn salary more than people without
degree
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a degree
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, In Thailand if
graduated
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graduate
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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degree standard salary start is 15,000 baths, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can guarantee money that you will earn in
work
Use synonyms
at long run.
However
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, if they want to
work
Use synonyms
during study, they have to register a volunteer by selecting a company that
relevant
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is relevant
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subject that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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learn, which
is encourage
Change the verb form
is encouraged
is encouraging
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on
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apply
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knowledge and experience in their
career
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, studying
necessarily
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necessary
show examples
, but
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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money a lot because they will pay
a
Correct article usage
the
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cost
in
Change preposition
of
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education during learning
such
Linking Words
a
Correct your spelling
as
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term fees, transport fees
and
Correct word choice
apply
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food fees etc. So may
difficult
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be difficult
show examples
for pupils not
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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sponsor
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a sponsor
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to
support
Correct pronoun usage
support them
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some pupils
inspire
Wrong verb form
are inspired
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to
work
Use synonyms
when finishing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school, they believe that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
of working is
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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have many years of
work
Use synonyms
which is experience that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
confidents
Correct your spelling
confident
in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. But, undeniable leads of students lack of
financial
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finances
show examples
to continue to the university as well so,
they
Rephrase
so they
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have to
work
Use synonyms
for
living
Correct article usage
a living
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consumer and I think that if they have money enough, they may
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn again. In conclusion, it seems to me that student
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
likely to be successful in their
career
Use synonyms
if they continue to university beyond the school level.
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
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supported main points
Support each of your main points with more specific examples and explanations. This not only strengthens your argument but also makes your essay more compelling and clear.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all aspects of the prompt. Introduce your position clearly in the introduction, discuss both views as asked, and restate your opinion in the conclusion to achieve a complete response.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to your points. This will make your argument more convincing and your essay more detailed and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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