Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child‘s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Parents
have the most important role in a child’s development
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
television
and
friends
have the most significant influence. Sometimes better
parents
, usually better
television
and
friends
.
To begin
with, some people say that
parents
have the most important role in a child’s development because they do not teach bad activities which are smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol.
On the other hand
,
parents
support their
children
with money and teach them
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and look after them every day. If the
parents
do like that, the
children
will be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
person in the future.
Conversely
, others argue that other things like
television
or
friends
have the most significant influence because
children
will learn
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
teamwork, but there needs to be
norm
Correct article usage
a norm
show examples
, because if
children
are with their
friends
, they may learn bad activities,
such
as smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol.
However
, when
children
watch
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
television
, they may watch
a positive news
Remove the article
positive news
a piece of positive news
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but may watch
a negative films
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative film
negative films
show examples
.
For instance
, if
children
watch serials, that thing will assault their psychology. In conclusion, both have benefits, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
prefer
parents
, because
this
side is better in real life.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. State the topic and your opinion clearly in the introduction.
development
Develop your ideas more comprehensively in the body paragraphs. Explain why you believe parents are more influential, providing specific examples and reasoning.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly, such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' for better readability and coherence.
grammar
Check your grammar and punctuation. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of commas and periods.
task response
Address the question directly and make sure you discuss both views equally before stating your own opinion. This helps in fully meeting the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundational role
  • holistic development
  • direct influence
  • emotional growth
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • significant influence
  • behavior
  • perspectives
  • profound impact
  • social skills
  • balancing
  • screen time
  • peer interaction
  • parental guidance
  • explores their independence
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