IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic. The internet has vastly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #internet #access #information #minutes
The
internet
 become the fastest mode to share
information
. I think it is a better chance in the massive technology era, and
this
 essay will explain supporting data for
this
 statement.
First,
nowadays, the majority of
people
 already have smartphones to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their own daily basis needs. All smartphones use the
internet
 as their main component of communication. To illustrate, sending short messages or making free calls requires a social
media
 service, which could be functioned by the
internet
. From the
internet
, perhaps we
also
 know and spread much
information
.
Therefore
, having smart cellular phones with the
internet
 helps us transfer
information
 to others.
Next,
the
internet
 and social
media
 platforms supply
information
 with interesting
media
,
such
 as
text
 or video. By having a lot of
media
 types, consumers can choose which one is suitable for them.
According to
 research, since
information
 is presented massively on the
internet
,
people
 tend to see
information
 with interesting visuals.
For example
,
people
 tend to watch short videos with subtitles rather than read long
text
 without illustrations.
Moreover
, having interesting visuals can activate our brains to understand
information
 easily.
Thus
, much interesting
information
 packaged with video and
text
 will be readily accepted by
people
. In conclusion, the disruptive
information
 era could happen because of the
internet
. The
internet
also
 helps us to gather data faster.
Also
, it provides us with many attractive forms,
such
 as short videos with subtitles, videos with music backgrounds, short
text
 with illustrations, and long
text
 without illustrations.
Submitted by sharontaaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction to precisely state your view on the topic. This will enhance the clarity of your argument throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with deeper analysis and more specific examples. This helps to strengthen your arguments and makes your response more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create a better flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively by having one main idea per paragraph and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will increase your score for logical structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a more nuanced conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also clearly expresses your standpoint on the issue. This will make your essay more persuasive and coherent.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: