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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #news #media #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The visual data represents the percentage of people accessing
news
 via media in a state in 2013, 2015 and 2017. The most striking alteration is the increasing percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 using the Internet as a source of facts. On the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it is visible that in 2013 a higher amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 used to watch the
news
 over television contrasted with 2017 where it became the least used for source information. It is visible how the Internet became an important tool
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 accessing
news
, having a radical increase from 2013
where
Correct word choice
when
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 only 30% used it to approximately 70% of
population
Add an article
the population
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. The rate of listening to
radio
Add an article
the radio
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 didn't encounter
drastically
Change the word
drastic
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 changes, remaining for all 7 years a less used media for
news
. The
Newspapers
Fix the agreement mistake
newspaper
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 statistics went down from a percentage of 41% in 2013 to 21% in 2017. Comparing the usage of accessible media from 2013 to 2017, presently, the Internet
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 a source of information
due to
 the fact of its
conveinable
Correct your spelling
convenable
 daily usage rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
televison
Correct your spelling
television
, newspapers or even
radios
Fix the agreement mistake
radio
show examples
.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words news with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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