Modern technology in now very common in most workplaces. How do you thik this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying to much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #thik #work

In modern society,

technologies

are widespread in the workplace.Some people think that the usage of

deviced

Correct your spelling

device

devices

has a lot of positive change to the work.

While

others believe that, it is

yeild

Correct your spelling

yield

a drawbacks

Correct the article-noun agreement

drawbacks

a drawback

show examples

To begin

with,technology now is a part of our life

as well as

labour

place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

As a result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days the majority of the population

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

on it significantly and clearly, because with the push of a

button

Add a comma

button,

show examples

the entire work cycle can be carried out.

For example

,almost

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct determiner usage

all

show examples

hospitals around the world put all their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and documents

Change preposition

show examples

the computer to save the patient's information.

Also

,there has been a clear

developmen

Correct your spelling

development

in hospitals and companies that have used

technologies

On the other hand

, one

abvious

Correct your spelling

obvious

disadvantages

Change to a singular noun

disadvantage

show examples

is that rely too much on

electronice

Correct your spelling

electronic

electronics

rather than utilizing their creativity and capabilities, especially

Change preposition

show examples

memorizin

Correct your spelling

memorizing

memorization

,and calculating.

Thus

,their mental and physical abilities will decrease because

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

did not use them but relied on

technologies

For instance

,nowadays,a majority of

smartphones

Change the noun form

smartphone

show examples

users

notes

Correct subject-verb agreement

note

show examples

everything as friend's

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

birthday

Fix the agreement mistake

birthdays

show examples

, and

also

write down their needs.So,

this

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human health, especially

these

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

employmentes

Correct your spelling

employees

employments

who spend

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most of their day on

computer

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

screen for about eight hours straight

as well as

Call Center jobs.

Furthermore

this

will affect their physical activity and cause them some diseases

such

as disc and obesity disease. In conclusion,

technologies

brings

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

salient

benifites

Correct your spelling

benefits

to humanity.

In contrast

, technology must be used in a specific

mannar

Correct your spelling

manner

that

Correct your spelling

show examples

does not negatively affect human lifestyle.

Submitted by Amredugo on Mon Feb 12 2024

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task achievement

Consider using a clear introductory sentence that directly addresses both parts of the prompt. This will immediately orient the reader to your essay’s objective and structure.

task achievement

Work on the completeness of your response by balancing the discussion between the advantages and disadvantages of technology in the workplace, ensuring that each paragraph contributes to answering the question fully.

coherence cohesion

Improve essay structure by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. Transition sentences between paragraphs will also help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Proofread for grammatical errors and to ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall argument or explanation of an idea. This will increase the clarity and effectiveness of your communication.

general

Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and a richer vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern technology in now very common in most workplaces. How do you thik this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying to much on technology?

Your opinion

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect o young people's reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree

Topic: In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career, others believe that it is better to get job straight after school. discuss both of view and give your opinion.