IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph below illustrates the daily average
number
Use synonyms
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 who live in the UK commuters travelling by
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
,
bus
Use synonyms
 or
train
Use synonyms
 between 1970 and 2030. It is obvious that the
people
Use synonyms
 used the
car
Use synonyms
 very much in all of the 6 decades.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, As you can see, the individual that used the
car
Use synonyms
 in 1970 was approximately 5
million
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, 9
million
Use synonyms
Change to a plural noun
folks
show examples
folk
Use synonyms
 will
use
Use synonyms
 their
car
Use synonyms
 for travelling in2030.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
bus
Use synonyms
 started about 4
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 used
this
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
device.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, From 1970 to 1980 the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who used the
bus
Use synonyms
 did not change.
However
Linking Words
, from 1980 to 2030, the large
number
Use synonyms
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 who used the
bus
Use synonyms
 and are going to
use
Use synonyms
 it in
future
Use synonyms
 to travel will decrease.
In addition
Linking Words
, from 1970 to 2000, the host of
people
Use synonyms
 who used the
train
Use synonyms
 added in 2000 the
number
Use synonyms
folk
Use synonyms
 who used the
train
Use synonyms
 was 3
million
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 from 2000 to 2010 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
train
Use synonyms
 had not changed. But, from 2010 to 2030 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used the
train
Use synonyms
 and are going to
use
Use synonyms
 it in
future
Use synonyms
 to travel will be additive. In conclusion, the
people
Use synonyms
 who live and are going to live in the
future
Use synonyms
 in the UK how much used and are going to will
use
Use synonyms
 three different vehicles (
car
Use synonyms
,
bus
Use synonyms
 and
train
Use synonyms
).
Therefore
Linking Words
, As you can see, cars had and will have the highest rate in
future
Use synonyms
 and past.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, folk, bus, train, people, car, million, use, future with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • mode of transport
  • fluctuating trend
  • downward trend
  • public transport policies
  • preferences
  • railway infrastructure
  • economic factors
  • environmental factors
  • technological factors
  • sustainable commuting
  • noticeable increase
  • investments
  • dominance
  • propensity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: