These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

People that live in poorer countries often

imigrate

Correct your spelling

immigrate

emigrate

migrate

to different because of the chance for better

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

for them and their

familys

Correct your spelling

families

. We can meet a

lot

of adults that

where

Correct your spelling

were

show examples

born

Change preposition

show examples

other

countinent

Correct your spelling

continent

continents

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

live now. Parents do

this

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

they want

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their child what is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

best, sometimes it is a good decision but

on the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

it can cause a

lot

of problems.

Firstly

, the advantage is

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

quality of life,

for

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

no wars or terrorist attacks, which can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to death or living hidden. No one would

Correct your spelling

show examples

happy about

this

, especially with a kid,

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

parents would do anything for their own child. The next reason is bigger

opportuneness

Replace the word

opportunities

show examples

for

example

Add the comma(s)

example,

show examples

eduacation

Correct your spelling

education

such

as schools and universities,

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

offers and life occasions. Moments like that

buildes

Correct your spelling

build

our

sens

Correct your spelling

sense

show examples

of living, we have

somethink

Correct your spelling

something

to look

forwarde

Correct your spelling

forward

Change preposition

to.

show examples

Furthermore

, making friends and spending time with them is the biggest benefit that every teenager wants.

On the other hand

, the

younge

Correct your spelling

young

person that was

took

Wrong verb form

taken

show examples

aborad

Correct your spelling

abroad

show examples

because of their

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

needs, do not know anything about their

countrie

Correct your spelling

country

countries

, culture and even relatives, because of the distance.

Therefore

, some of them can feel lost in

this

world, because of not knowing their own roots.

Secondly

, because of racism, we can still see that a

lot

of other cultures or facial structures are criticized. Younge people that are raised

this

way can deal with a

lot

of problems in later

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

for

example

Add the comma(s)

example,

show examples

mental health issues,

such

as anxiety, low

confinece

Correct your spelling

confidence

or depression, which can

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

suicide

Replace the word

suicidal

show examples

thoughts. In

conlusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, I think that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

are stronger

Change preposition

than then

show examples

then

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

disadvantages

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because more and more humans

are being tolerates

Change the verb form

are tolerating

show examples

the

diffrences

Correct your spelling

differences

Therefore

moving

aborad

Correct your spelling

abroad

show examples

is a good thing

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

opens a

lot

of "doors".

Submitted by alicja.gebarowska on Mon Feb 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your essay structure by clearly dividing it into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence if applicable.

coherence cohesion

Improve your introduction by clearly restating the question and stating your main argument or position. The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position or opinion on the topic.

task achievement

Support your main points with more precise examples and explanations. While general statements are made, more detailed and specific examples could better strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. Regular proofreading can help identify and correct these issues, enhancing the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.

task achievement

Consider working on developing a broader vocabulary and varying your sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

What to do next:

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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?