As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

#invention #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health

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It is often seen that many

people

Use synonyms

are beginning to do their

activities

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from

home

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as the impacts of technology become cheaper and more accessible. Personally, I agree that

this

Linking Words

gives

Verb problem

has

show examples

a negative

impact

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which includes the interpersonal

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

both

Change preposition

of both

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

adults

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and

children

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and

also

Linking Words

gives

Verb problem

has

show examples

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

health

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. I will explain my reasons in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the main reasons that doing

activities

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such

Linking Words

as working from

home

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is a negative development is its

impact

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on interpersonal healthy relationships. The main cause of

this

Linking Words

problem is when

adults

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work from

home

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, they can'

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interact with other

people

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outside the house,

for instance

Linking Words

, when they are in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

meeting and training online, they can'

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see the

people

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whom they interact with directly.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they can'

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see the body language and gestures that their partner

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

when they are linked and

this

Linking Words

may cause misunderstandings between

people

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who are working together.

Thus

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, it has a bad

impact

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on the

adults

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who are working from

home

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Secondly

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, studying from

home

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can have a bad effect on the

children

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which may cause them can'

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interrelate with other kids who are the same age as them,

for example

Linking Words

children

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can'

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study together and change their thoughts directly with their friends.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

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who are studying from

home

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may have problems with their

health

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for instance

Linking Words

, they may have problems with their eyes that always have to see the screen for studying.

Additionally

Linking Words

children

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can'

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activities

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such

Linking Words

as exercising outdoors and it may affect their

health

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, especially their physical and mental

health

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Thus

Linking Words

children

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can'

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do anything they want with their friends and may have a bad

impact

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on their

health

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if they study from

home

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. In conclusion, I feel that there are clear disadvantages to doing

activities

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such

Linking Words

as working and studying from

home

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both for

adults

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and

children

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. The main drawbacks are they may have serious problems with their interpersonal relationship and their

health

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, especially physical and mental

health

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. The question reminds us that we must always make sure not to do all

activities

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online and must interact with

people

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directly.

Submitted by amaliasekar30 on Tue Feb 13 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and include a more distinct thesis statement that previews the main points you will discuss. Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and reiterates your stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by improving the transition between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea supported by relevant examples and explanation.

Task Achievement

Consider adding more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement by making your points more persuasive and comprehensive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
obesity
exacerbate
mental health issues
fitness apps
urbanization
work culture
obsolete
health landscapes
awareness
wearable fitness technology
digital detoxes

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As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost You do NOT need to write any addresses.