IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (dinosaur,dodo), there is no reason why people should try to prevent thid form happening.

#process #species #dinosaur #dodo #reason #people #thid #form
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extinction
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 has been occured in some geological eras which had been an inevitable part of evolution. There are a number of individuals
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
 that preventing
this
Linking Words
 natural process is not imperative. I am
defifnitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 against
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 attitude. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
show examples
 of the idea
content
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
 that numerous creatures have already become extinct without any interference
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, why we should worried about killing or hunting them
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Based on their claim and
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that human being is the wisest species on the earth, he or she has the authority to either
expoilt
Correct your spelling
export
spoilt
exploit
 or hunt them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advocators say that we have lost rare creatures,
exsisting
Correct your spelling
existing
 on the earth so far and
this
Linking Words
 action does not bring about any dangerous
implication
Fix the agreement mistake
implications
show examples
 so we ought not to be minding regarding
animals
Use synonyms
 which are less valuable than us.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a majority of
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 around the world are dying from both hunger and lack of medical facilities,
it
Correct word choice
so it
show examples
 is better to devote the budget to rescue them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
 of the idea
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
claim neglect of
extinction
Use synonyms
 will
be resulted
Change to the active voice
result
have resulted
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. With regard to
reality
Add an article
the reality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that all flora and
funa
Correct your spelling
fauna
 together form the food chain, not being any of them means
other loop
Change the wording
another loop
other loops
show examples
 will
be die
Change the verb form
die
show examples
, soon or late.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
to eliminate
Change the verb form
eliminating
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 animal by nature will fill the blank with
compatible
Correct article usage
a compatible
show examples
one
Use synonyms
. The more new, the more resistant to potential killer factors.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 of the reasons that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 work
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to preserve these
animals
Use synonyms
 is people can
get
Verb problem
take
show examples
 advantage of the beauty that they give to wildlife parks and of course nature.
to conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
Use synonyms
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of other
animals
Use synonyms
 could jeopardize human
deing
Correct your spelling
development
 by starving
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 it could cause and
also
Linking Words
 will
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
 wildlife without doubt.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

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Logical Structure
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct main idea. Start with an introduction that clearly states your position, followed by body paragraphs, each with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Finally, conclude with a summary of your viewpoints.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
Make sure your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and your viewpoint, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position clearly.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive. Avoid vague statements or generalizations.
Complete Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Clearly state your viewpoint and include arguments supporting your position. Address counterarguments to show a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clear and comprehensive presentation of ideas is crucial. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are logically developed. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Including relevant examples and evidence makes your essay stronger. Try to incorporate specific examples that directly support your viewpoint and demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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