Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
a faction of people
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
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the notion that authorities should invest
on
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in
show examples
controlling pollution and providing houses to protect public health, others argue that more measures are necessary to prevent illness. I totally agree with the latter view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.
This
essay
wiill
Correct your spelling
will
explain my
view points
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viewpoints
show examples
with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, lifestyle diseases
such
as diabetic mellitus and hypertension are the most
prevalant
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prevalent
dieseases
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diseases
in the present world.
Expert
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Experts
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claimed that pollution and infrastructure issues have no relation with lifestyle diseases.
For example
, poor diet and lack of exercise are the major reasons for lifestyle diseases.
Besides
, microorganisms are the primary
causes
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cause
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of communicable illness. To illustrate,
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
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diesease
Correct your spelling
disease
is spread by
virus
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a virus
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which is transmitted through
air
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the air
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by
contacting
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contact
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with
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apply
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infected patients.
This
is no role for poor housing or pollution
to
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in
show examples
Correct your spelling
spread
speed
spred
Correct your spelling
spreading
this
disease
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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logical structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure helps in presenting your argument logically and makes it easier for the reader to follow your discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Though you've mentioned an agreement with the view that more measures are necessary, the absence of a clear conclusion weakens your argument. Always include a strong conclusion that reiterates your stance.
supported main points
While your main points are somewhat supported, aiming for a deeper analysis and providing more specific examples would enhance your argument significantly.
complete response
To fully address the task, ensure your response thoroughly covers why you agree or disagree with the statement. This includes elaborating on your viewpoint with comprehensive details and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Developing your arguments fully helps in conveying your message effectively. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas for better clarity.
relevant specific examples
Incorporating relevant, specific examples greatly strengthens your argument. Aim to provide detailed examples that clearly support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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