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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of men and women academic staff members across 7 different major
universities
Change the noun form
university
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 faculties in 2012.
overall
Linking Words
, the
avrege
Correct your spelling
average
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
showed
Verb problem
was
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highest
Replace the word
higher
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 than women.
However
Linking Words
, men enrolled
engineering
Change preposition
in engineering
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 more than women,
while
Linking Words
famale prefered
Correct your spelling
families preferred
 education. To
begein
Correct your spelling
begin
, the percentage of males
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 85% and
famale
Correct your spelling
females
 18% in engineering.
In addition
Linking Words
, girls and boys enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Arts by 58% and 42% respectively. There
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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35% of
famale
Correct your spelling
families
 and 62% of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in
busniess
Correct your spelling
business
,
while
Linking Words
 40% and 60% of girls and boys respectively signed in law. The
avareg
Correct your spelling
average
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in
scince
Correct your spelling
science
 was 62% and 38% of
famle
Correct your spelling
females
.
However
Linking Words
, there was 50% of
famle
Correct your spelling
female
families
 in
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 were less around 1%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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