Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some citizens think that unpaid community service should be a part of secondary school programs (
such
as volunteering for a charity, enhancing the neighbourhood, or instructing younger students in sports). Others always reject
this
development, but I agree to some
extend
Replace the word
extent
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. On the one hand, some
people
believe that
this
development is unnecessary for school
people
because of several reasons.
Firstly
,
this
may be
time-consuming
Add an article
a time-consuming
show examples
project because,
while
some
people
faffing
Wrong verb form
faff
show examples
around with
these types
Fix the agreement mistake
this type
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of work, some
people
who
rejected
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reject
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to do it can achieve some high goals because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have some time without their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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to go some extra lessons
as a result
they can learn some subjects without any disturbs.
Secondly
,
this
may
carry
Verb problem
cause
show examples
to pick up some diseases bound to their
nervous
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nerves
show examples
because,
while
learning some teaching methods, they always fight some struggles
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some students understand subjects hardly and,
this
can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their nervous system.
On the other hand
, I believe that
this
requirement can be useful for some
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if it will be added to some schools. If some teenagers attend to do some activities bound to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community work, they may find some solutions easily for their problems in the future because,
while
their work which
given
Add the auxiliary verb
is given
show examples
by their schools, they collect some
experiment
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experiments
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about some problems.
Secondly
, they may create leadership skills for themselves because, if they take part in some lessons with some teachers, they may learn how to teach or control students
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
some lessons. In conclusion,
although
, some
people
always reject
this
order, in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
we should accept
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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some reasons which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
given at the top of the essay.
Submitted by Azizbek on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher scores, ensure that each main point in your body paragraphs is supported by specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Address the task directly and make sure your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument, ensuring that you fully answer the question.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly and clearly. This involves expanding on your points with detailed explanations and examples which directly support your argument.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your essay but also shows how your ideas apply in real-world contexts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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