With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resourced. To what extent do you agree?

The world indeed is constantly experiencing an enormous demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
oil and gas. Since these two natural
resources
cannot be maintained for a long time or forever, people on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
should discover a sustainable
solution
. One
solution
that is
mostly being talked about is discovering new areas of the world that can be opened up to access and dig up more
resources
. First
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
first,
this
solution
is not
such
a sustainable one for the future. Exploring new places will end up in the same trouble again, which is the depletion of
resources
sooner or later. The expedition might take up some time and human
resources
, yet it cannot guarantee the result we are hoping for.
Not to mention
the myriad
horrible
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of horrible
show examples
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. Finding new spots to dig up some
resources
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
alright by me, yet it should have its
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
.
While
the parties involved in
this
exploration working on
this
job, the government should think
another
Change preposition
of another
show examples
solution
that is
beneficial in the long run. In
this
case, I would be more supportive
about
Change preposition
of
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another alternative, which is investing in sustainable energy
such
as solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
, wind panels, and many more. These novel energy sources
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
not yet fully explored and implemented. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
might be
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the high cost we need to produce
such
a technology for all.
However
, I still think it is better to build it up little by little rather than
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
our pristine nature to find oil and gas. In a nutshell, I can support the discovery of new
resources spot
Fix the agreement mistake
resource spots
show examples
under some conditions and as long as it is not regarded as a final
solution
. I would rather vote for investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
new
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
or research to stop
this
activity to create a healthy earth for all, for our generation and the generations afterwards.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical sequence of ideas by using transitional phrases more effectively to improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to communicate your position more explicitly from the beginning.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas with more detailed examples and evidence to enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion provides a clear summary of your arguments and reiterates your stance on the issue effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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