IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given tables compare the data of daily
temperature
Use synonyms
 and daytime from 28th to 30th December 2018 in
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
. At
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, it can clearly be seen that
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was much warmer than
London
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Sydney
Correct article usage
the Sydney
show examples
 population enjoyed longer sunlight. In terms of the weather, in
London
Use synonyms
, the warmest and lowest
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 were 13C and 3C, respectively, which happened
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same day, Saturday 29th.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
as
Add a missing verb
is as
show examples
 twice
hotter
Correct word choice
hot
show examples
, with 31C as the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
, and 17C as the coldest.
Although
Linking Words
 the
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 difference between both states'
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
, the discrepancy between the maximum and minimum temperatures was quite
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, around 10C. Regarding the average sun exposure, dawn and dusk in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 were at around 5.45 and 20.07, respectively, making
Sydney
Use synonyms
 had roughly 15 hours of daylight,
while
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 only experienced half
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that. Sun in
London
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started to rise approximately at 8.05 and set at almost 16.00.
Submitted by usedtobesomeoneyoulove on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, london, sydney, c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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