IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below. The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below.

The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below. The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below.
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The line graph above depicts information about the ratio of smokers in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. The rates were divided by gender, men and women.
To begin
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 with, it showed that the highest rate of smokers throughout the period was men in 1960, around 600 in every 1000 people.
However
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,
this
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 number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually decreased to 500 in 1975 and continued to step down until its lower score in 2000 to just over 250.
In contrast
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, for women in that country, it steadily increased from approximately 90 in 1960 to around 310 in 1985.
Thereafter
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 the figures remained stable at 300 in 1985,
subsequently
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dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
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at
Change preposition
to
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 200 in 2000.
Overall
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, it clearly shows that male smokers in Someland have always had the highest scores rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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