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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs depict a comparison of the utilisation of electrical appliances in households and the total of spending
hours
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners users increased dramatically
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1920 until 2000,
while
Linking Words
 washing machines fluctuated very slightly between 1960 and 2019. At the same time,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 every week for finished housework fell substantially in 99 years.
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1920, no one in society used refrigerators compared to those who applied washing machines and vacuum cleaners, accounting for 40% and 30%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, from 1940 to 1980, washing appliances skyrocketed surpassing both equipment for a total of 100%, trailed by dustbusters with the same peak percentage in 2000 till the end of the period. Washing machines,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, have a moderate
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
, reaching a peak of just above 70% in 2019. In the first year (1920),
hours
Use synonyms
 per week for finished housework was the longest, namely 50
hours
Use synonyms
. After that, the times dropped sequentially to 15
hours
Use synonyms
 until 1980 and remained stable for the next 20 years,
then
Linking Words
 reached the lowest rate at 10
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
Submitted by helainhye2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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