IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have planned to study a distance course online from an international university. Write a letter to the university officer requesting information about the course. In your letter, write: Why you are writing Which course it is and when you plan to study Why you want to study this course

#study #distance #course #university #officer #information #plan
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Dear Mr Muhammad I am writing to ask
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 about online courses from an international
university
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 I would like to know about
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. I'm planning to study in a physics faculty on
distance
Correct article usage
a distance
show examples
 course. I heard about
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 from my brother, he is
also
Linking Words
 studying at
this
Linking Words
 international
university
Use synonyms
 and I will be planning on March twenty-second. The are several reasons why I want to study
this
Linking Words
 course. The main reason is I will get a certificate from your
university
Use synonyms
. Please consider my request and thank you for your time. Yours faithfully Maxmudov Akbarshoh
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your letter, it is crucial to provide more detailed information concerning why the course interests you and what specific outcomes you anticipate from completing it. Elaborate on how the course aligns with your future goals or current interests.
Task Achievement
Consider using a variety of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. This could include using conditional sentences, comparative forms, and idiomatic expressions where appropriate.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there's a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant details or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
For closure, aim for a more polished ending that reiterates your request politely and indicates a willingness to provide further information or engage in further discussion. Adding a closing line that anticipates a response or expresses appreciation for the university's consideration will make your letter more effective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review the use of articles (a/the) and prepositions, as well as tense consistency, to improve grammatical accuracy and overall coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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