The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last years. Discuss the causes and effect of this issue disturbing trend.
The survey
that
is
taken Wrong verb form
was
last
year had
showed that the number of Unnecessary verb
apply
children
who had an
Replace the word
were obese
obesity
had increased in western by almost 20%. At
my point of view, the main Change preposition
In
caused
of Replace the word
cause
this
problem
was unhealthy
lifestyle. Add an article
an unhealthy
the unhealthy
Nowdays
, most Correct the word
Nowadays
of
Change preposition
apply
children
had
a high interest Wrong verb form
have
on
consuming Change preposition
in
a junk
Remove the article
junk food
a portion of junk food
food
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
lead
not only Change the verb form
leads
an
overweight Change preposition
to an
problem
but also
can create a serious diseases
when they get older Correct the article-noun agreement
serious diseases
a serious disease
such
as cancer.
In this
era, when the
technology has rapidly grown, Correct article usage
apply
youngster
has a wide range of choices Add an article
the youngster
on
Change preposition
in
food
. They can afford any type of meals
Fix the agreement mistake
meal
include
the fast one. There are a lot of restaurants that serve fast Wrong verb form
including
food
menu on their top of menu, and it makes children
easiest to get unhealthy food
. Despite the variety on
shops, the delicious taste Change preposition
of
that is
offered by the meals was another factor that increase
Wrong verb form
increased
children
desire to purchase Change noun form
children's
the
processed Correct article usage
apply
food
. Moreover
, this
habbit
of consuming a fast meal is not balanced with the appropriate exercise which creates an overweight Correct your spelling
habit
problem
for the youngster.
Having an obesity
problem
is not only related to the physical apperance
but Correct your spelling
appearance
also
have
a Correct subject-verb agreement
has
long term
effect as they get older. When Add a hyphen
long-term
children
suffer Change preposition
from
with
their body weight, they will be Change preposition
from
Replace the word
mocked
mock
by their Wrong verb form
mocked
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
friend
, which Fix the agreement mistake
friends
effect
their mentality. On the other sides, mobility Correct your spelling
affect
issue
will be generated by people with Fix the agreement mistake
issues
obesity
, they will be slower to move then
their mates with a proportional weight. Replace the word
than
Moreover
, as they get older, they will have a bigger chance of complication
Replace the word
complicated
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
such
as heart attack, cholestrol
, Correct your spelling
cholesterol
even
cancer.
In my conclusion, Correct word choice
and even
i
see Change the capitalization
I
an
Remove the article
apply
obesity
as one of the illness
Change to a plural noun
illnesses
that
created by Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
Change noun form
people's
lifestyle
, either eating or Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
excersing
Correct your spelling
exercising
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Moreover
, this
issue Correct your spelling
is
as
not Correct your spelling
is
Wrong verb form
considered
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
Correct word choice
apply
as
Correct word choice
apply
the
serious Correct article usage
a
deseases
could lead Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
Change preposition
to
into
a huge Change preposition
to
problem
as people get older.Submitted by angelhorta313 on
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