Many people believe that family has the strongest influence on a child’s development, while others believe that external factors such as television, friends and music play a big role. Discuss both views
While
a faction of people holds the notion that family has Linking Words
imperative
Correct article usage
an imperative
role
Use synonyms
offspring
Change preposition
in offspring
development
, others argue that external Use synonyms
factores
have Correct your spelling
factors
factories
more
significant Add an article
a more
role
. I agree with the latter viewpoint as ample reasons are present to substantiate it which will Use synonyms
explain
in Wrong verb form
be explained
this
essay.
First and foremost, Linking Words
Atlhough
in Correct your spelling
although
this
technology-driven world parents has Linking Words
Use synonyms
role
Add an article
a role
the role
for
the Change preposition
in
development
of Use synonyms
children
, Use synonyms
the
external factors, undeniably, Correct article usage
apply
such
as social Linking Words
media
and Use synonyms
televison
are the most Correct your spelling
television
influencial
factors for the cognitive Correct your spelling
influential
development
of juveniles. To illustrate, Use synonyms
children
are Use synonyms
consider
their Wrong verb form
considered
role
Use synonyms
model
as social Fix the agreement mistake
models
media
influencers and celebrities Use synonyms
instead
of their parents by the influence of these modern Linking Words
media
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, music has a vital Linking Words
role
Use synonyms
for
the Change preposition
in
development
of Use synonyms
adolascents
. The Correct your spelling
adolescents
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
charactor
Correct your spelling
character
development
Use synonyms
is
dependsUnnecessary verb
apply
by
the type of music which they Change preposition
on
are
usually listenUnnecessary verb
apply
.
Change preposition
to.
Furthermore
, Teachers and Linking Words
friends
have enormous Use synonyms
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
for
the Change preposition
to
development
of Use synonyms
juvenile
. In Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
the
other Correct article usage
apply
word
, nowadays Fix the agreement mistake
words
children
spend more time with their Use synonyms
friends
and teachers Use synonyms
compare
to the past Wrong verb form
compared
due to
the hectic lifestyle of parents. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
the
adolescents Correct article usage
apply
beeing
influenced by their Correct your spelling
are
friends
. Use synonyms
For example
, it is true that several juvenile Linking Words
crime
are Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
due to
Linking Words
the
peer pressure. Correct article usage
apply
Similarly
, society has Linking Words
also
Linking Words
vital
Add an article
a vital
role
Use synonyms
for
the shaping Change preposition
in
charactor
of Correct your spelling
character
the
adolescents. In detail, the community is accepting Correct article usage
apply
for
the correction Change preposition
apply
for
the juvenile who committed minor crimes and support for their future will help to enable a bright future for them.
In conclusion, Change preposition
of
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
and music have immense influence Use synonyms
of
the Change preposition
on
developement
of Correct your spelling
development
juvenile
. Not only Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
friends
but Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
the
society have a Correct article usage
apply
role
Use synonyms
to
their Change preposition
in
development
alos. Ergo, I believe that external Use synonyms
factore
have Correct your spelling
factors
more
vital Add an article
a more
role
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
children
's future.Use synonyms
Submitted by ck.manshad on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Address the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt thoroughly. While you've presented opinions on both sides, further balance and clear argumentation for each view will strengthen your essay.
task achievement
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task achievement
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