Write about the following topic: Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#topic #children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

Nowadays It's really easy to get angry with anything. For

poeoples

Correct your spelling

peoples

people

future

Add a comma

future,

show examples

the main

rool

Correct your spelling

role

takes

Verb problem

show examples

their

children

. There

many

Add a missing verb

are many

show examples

reasons why parents can't grow calm

children

The one

Correct article usage

One

show examples

of the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is computer

games

. There

many

Add a missing verb

are many

show examples

types of computer

games

for different

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

children

half

Correct word choice

and half

show examples

of them do not lead to mention

attack

Fix the agreement mistake

attacks

show examples

or brain

shtorm

Correct your spelling

storm

, but

games

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

PG Mobile, CSgo and so on

result

Add an article

the result

a result

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

noncontroled

Correct your spelling

noncontrolled

uncontrolled

, hyperactive

children

. The general

qoals

Correct your spelling

goals

goal

this

game

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

killing

enemy

Add an article

the enemy

an enemy

show examples

Traditionaly

Correct your spelling

Traditionally

, playing

games

must be

interested

Wrong verb form

interesting

show examples

and

educationaly

Correct your spelling

educational

educationally

for all the

children

, step by step scientists create more cognitive

games

for

yongn

Correct your spelling

young

long

babyes

Correct your spelling

babies

and kids , but any

actoins

Correct your spelling

actions

for teenagers. In 2020

I've done

Wrong verb form

I did

show examples

my research in

this

area, the generally for teens, in

this

project was found interesting facts more than half

Correct your spelling

them don't realize their future without computer

games

. I found

solution

Add an article

a solution

the solution

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem, parents need to

become

Verb problem

show examples

in their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

as much as

posible

Correct your spelling

possible

. At all it may be

simple

Correct article usage

a simple

show examples

routine, making dinner together or

picnik

Correct your spelling

picnic

with family.

Add a verb

It is

It was

show examples

important to do something with kids, be

team

Add an article

a team

show examples

Submitted by burtebaeva02 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your task response, ensure that you fully address the question by providing a clear opinion on the topic and expanding on your ideas with detailed explanations and examples. This could be in the form of stating your stance clearly in the introduction, followed by paragraphs that support your opinion with reasons, examples, and potential consequences or solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on creating a more logical structure in your essay by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a single main idea that is introduced in the first sentence, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea. Use conjunctions and transition words to connect your ideas smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

To further support your main points, integrate more specific examples from credible sources or from your own experiences. This will not only make your arguments more convincing but also show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

184 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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