IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #effects #families #societies
It is often considered that
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of countries replaced traditional
food
 items
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 junk meals. Many population
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that
this
 has
an adverse effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
an adverse effect
adverse effects
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 on families
as well as
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
.
Thus
, I assent from the notion which
further
 leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, there are various factors which
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 the evidence of unfavourable effects of
fashionalable
Correct your spelling
fashionable
 meals. First and foremost, these junk cuisines are much tastier but it's not good to eat on
daily
Add an article
a daily
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 basis because it can block our veins
as a consequence
 of
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enhancement of disease to our body.
Moreover
, these junk foods are cooked
with
Change preposition
apply
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using a great amount of unprocessed oil which is really detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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 our
health
although
 cuisines are not cooked in a clean place as well.
For example
, the 'Zee News' illustrates the dairy milk chocolate having worms creeping over the chocolate bar which is annoying to the public. Probing ahead, the junkies are only to make you ecstatic but not
conatining
Correct your spelling
containing
 any nutritional values compared to the traditional foods.
Stuffs
Change the wording
Stuff
Kinds of Stuff
Pieces of Stuff
show examples
 which are prepared at home are full of vitamins and necessary
health
 benefits which everyone
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 for a healthy lifestyle.
However
, fast meals
serves
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 a person to be fat and
additionally
, full of
health
 issues rather than a happy life.
For instance
, youths like gym freaks and film stars are
health
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
which
Correct word choice
and
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 always prefer to eat healthy diets. In a nutshell, the populace should eat international fast
food
 occasionally with limited
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 and after eating these foods, take a digestion drink which balances the nutritional values.
Instead
 of having fashionable
food
, make your daily
food
 in
tastier
Correct article usage
a tastier
show examples
 manner.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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task achievement
Ensure the essay directly addresses the essay prompt from the beginning. State your position clearly in the introduction to provide a clear direction for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph around a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main point clearly.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your ideas and arguments, enhancing the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples to support your arguments. Specific examples make your argument stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
Revise for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Using a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary enhances clarity and reader engagement.
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