Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
In the modern era, one of the most controversial issues today relates to salaries. Some
people
believe that large organizations should receive more Use synonyms
money
than ordinary employees, Use synonyms
while
others argue that it is unfair. I personally believe that receiving more Linking Words
money
from large organizations is unfair. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will examine from both points of view and explain my opinion.
On one side of the argument, some Linking Words
people
believe that to enter large Use synonyms
companies
, they should prepare a significant number of qualifications, spending a lot of Use synonyms
money
. Use synonyms
For example
, large Linking Words
companies
request a high educational background, experience Use synonyms
such
as volunteering and activities of Linking Words
companies
and interviews to enter Use synonyms
companies
. Individuals have to prepare requests to achieve the goal through much Use synonyms
money
, Use synonyms
as well as
survive Linking Words
such
competition. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, they think receiving a lot of Linking Words
money
is necessary.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
believe that achievement is more important than the size of a corporation. To be more specific, if Use synonyms
people
who enter large organizations receive much Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
although
they do not have value achievement, they will not struggle to work even if they do not climb the corporate ladder. Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
companies
will have low profits since they are not likely to be not only productive but Use synonyms
also
effective at their workplace. Linking Words
Moreover
, ordinary workers’ achievements will be underestimated because of social eyes.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that receiving much higher Linking Words
money
from large Use synonyms
companies
is unfair since salaries should be reassessed through efforts. Use synonyms
Thus
, salaries should be encouraged by their achievement and efforts.Linking Words
Submitted by kk884 on
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, but they could be more compelling. To improve this, use more engaging language and clear statements that hook the reader and provide a stronger summarization of your stance in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure. However, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use more linking phrases such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'however', to better connect paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but there's room for providing more specific examples and evidence. Expand on your examples by explaining why they are relevant and how they support your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, studies, or real-world instances to strengthen your position.
task achievement
You've made an effort to address the task, and your response reflects an understanding of it. To further improve, make sure to discuss both viewpoints thoroughly before leading to your conclusion. Presenting a more balanced view can enrich your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensively presented, but they could benefit from more depth. Delve into the implications or consequences of your points to provide a more thorough analysis of the issue.
task achievement
While you've given examples, incorporating more detailed and specifically relevant examples related to the prompt will make your argument stronger. Look for case studies or anecdotes that directly tie back to your key points.