“Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.” Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days,
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
of developed technic, lots of children
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
many time with smart phone and in
Correct article usage
the doors
show examples
doors
Fix the agreement mistake
door
show examples
without
not to be
Verb problem
being
show examples
exposured
Correct your spelling
exposed
exposure
to the natural
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
.
This
situation can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
First,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
experience
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
world to the childern can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care. There are needed amount of exercise and
work out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
for
childern
Correct your spelling
children
in a day. When it doesn't fill,
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
can get fat or sick because of various
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
show examples
.
Moreover
, it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the metal which
disturb
Change the verb form
disturbs
show examples
studying in the
furture
Correct your spelling
future
. So young age
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to
experience
outside many
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
to provide
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
of health.
Next,
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
can have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to learn
many
Change preposition
about many
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
and
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
that help them when they grow up. The time when children grow up, exposed to
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
world is important because nature has different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
which can give
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
. When I was young, I had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
experience
that
plents
Correct your spelling
parents
never give up growing despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficult conditions.
This
made me
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
try
anytime
Correct your spelling
time
show examples
,
although
there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
obstacle which
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
me hard to grow up. In ferred to
Correct article usage
the obove
show examples
obove
Correct your spelling
above
text, lack of
exposed
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
to the natural world for children makes dangerous health care and take
learn
Verb problem
apply
show examples
of opportunity.
That is
why we have to make
Correct article usage
an affort
show examples
affort
Correct your spelling
effort
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to go outside and get
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
experience
.
Submitted by chwkmkmn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Focus on improving your essay's structure by adding a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should seamlessly connect, making your argument more coherent.
introduction conclusion present
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly. Start by introducing your topic, followed by the main points you’ll discuss, and conclude by summarizing your ideas. A clear structure will greatly benefit your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples. This will add depth to your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
complete response
Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing the effects of a lack of experience with nature on children. Clarify how these effects manifest and provide detailed reasons and examples to support your claims.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on organizing your ideas more effectively. Each paragraph should present a single clear idea, supported by reasons and examples. Use transition words to help the flow of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples from your own experiences or other reliable sources to support your arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!