Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Children are basically
fun loving
Add a hyphen
fun-loving
show examples
, agile and creative. They learn
while
they play. During the juvenile phase, most of the
kids
spend their time at Kindergarten. In our society there are two different types of institutes,
Firstly
the Public organization and
Secondly
, those institutions which are run by
federal
Correct article usage
the federal
show examples
Government. There is an argument
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
states that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Guardians who send their
kids
to local schools should
be
Verb problem
opt
show examples
opt-out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
paying taxes, which helps the universal
education
system. I completely disagree with the given notion.
This
essay will shed light
regarding to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
point
along with
some examples.
To begin
with, Parents should pay some money in support of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
of taxes. Poor people should be excluded from it. By funding them, the state will have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to enhance the whole
education
sysytem
Correct your spelling
system
. They can even use
this
money to conduct some national
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
, where the students who get high
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
will be rewarded either
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
cash
price
Correct your spelling
prize
show examples
or some
materiastic
Correct your spelling
materialistic
thing.
Moreover
,
this
thing can
also
influence other
kids
to study harder and get marks. To prove it, In India, citizens
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there pay about 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of their income to support the
education
system and
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, many
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
exam
Change to a plural noun
exams
show examples
are open where children are rewarded with big prizes.
Moreover
, by paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, we can change the whole structure of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
all around the world. After taking
the
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
steps, we can help many
kids
and help them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their dream in their correspondence
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
would be considered to be the greatest
achievenment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
and
thus
we can educate more our future generation.
For Example
, In America, the parents are allowed to make a contribution and ergo there can be seen more equality in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of
education
as compared to other nations.
To conclude
,
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
it depends on the
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
nature whether he wants to contribute or not.
High
Correct article usage
The high
show examples
Federal Government should make
this
law
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a compulsion.
This
can result
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
a better and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bright future.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Revisit the statement in the introduction for a clearer statement of your position. Ensure the reader understands your stance immediately.
task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples that directly support your argument. Your examples should clearly illustrate your points rather than just mentioning general practices.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strive for a stronger conclusion by summarizing your key points more effectively and restating your position in a compelling manner.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: