Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague
From an immemorial
time
, spare time
has always been one of the significant issue
of societies. There is a controversial thesis that spending free Change to a plural noun
issues
time
with fellow
can be Fix the agreement mistake
fellows
pleasure
, which many argue including myself, strongly disapprove with Add an article
a pleasure
this
view totally.
In a
Change the article
an
overall
view consuming
Verb problem
spending
time
with fellows obtain
many barriers Verb problem
creates
such
as lack
of familiarity and being enclosed by work Correct article usage
a lack
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
About
knowing people in Rephrase
When
workplace
, one does not have plenty Add an article
the workplace
data
about others' Change preposition
of data
personality
in order to Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
make
a friendship atmosphere, Verb problem
create
in particular
in huge
company. these can Add an article
a huge
make
many Verb problem
cause
misunderstanding
. Turning on condition, they always Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
belongs
to Change the verb form
belong
job
and career which is a paradox about spending leisure Correct article usage
a job
time
. They often remind duties and numerous obstacle
of Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
company
so it is considered to be far away Add an article
the company
a company
that
situation.
Change preposition
from that
On the other hand
, being without colleagues during spare moments involve
many advantages which family Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
gathering
and Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
opportunity
of being alone are some alternatives. Correct article usage
the opportunity
First
side that individuals may spend Add an article
The first
time
with family members and relatives who usually have more mutual interest
and entertainment. Fix the agreement mistake
interests
Actually
brothers are more familiar together generally. Add a comma
Actually,
This
option can enhance the quality and convenience of fun
Add an article
a fun
time
. Another side is the best for the introvert who prefer
to do activities alone and escape from Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
bustle
of Add an article
the bustle
meeting
. They can select Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
stay
home or go out individually and enjoy their Fix the infinitive
to stay
time
in their Correct word choice
own manners
manners
. It can be Fix the agreement mistake
manner
better
choice for them not to get involved Add an article
a better
the better
whit
different repeated conversations.
What has been discussed can be summarized as follows Correct your spelling
with
that
free Correct determiner usage
apply
time
has been one of the important part
of human life. Some suppose that people may have an interesting Change to a plural noun
parts
time
with their colleagues which I cannot subscript this
thought overall
, although
a few can be attracted to these opinions.Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay clearly with a distinct introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should seamlessly flow into the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more pronounced. Begin with a clearer statement of your position and conclude by summarizing your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to better support your argument. Making your examples more specific can significantly improve your essay's persuasion.
General
Work on your grammar and punctuation. This will not only make your arguments clearer but also more professional and easier to follow.
General
Try practicing with a wide range of vocabulary to more precisely express your ideas and to avoid repetition. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.