Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague

From an immemorial
time
, spare
time
has always been one of the significant
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
of societies. There is a controversial thesis that spending free
time
with
fellow
Fix the agreement mistake
fellows
show examples
can be
pleasure
Add an article
a pleasure
show examples
, which many argue including myself, strongly disapprove with
this
view totally. In
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overall
view
consuming
Verb problem
spending
show examples
time
with fellows
obtain
Verb problem
creates
show examples
many barriers
such
as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of familiarity and being enclosed by work
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
About
Rephrase
When
show examples
knowing people in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, one does not have plenty
data
Change preposition
of data
show examples
about others'
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
in order to
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a friendship atmosphere,
in particular
in
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
company. these can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
many
misunderstanding
Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
show examples
. Turning on condition, they always
belongs
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belong
show examples
to
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
and career which is a paradox about spending leisure
time
. They often remind duties and numerous
obstacle
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obstacles
show examples
of
company
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the company
a company
show examples
so it is considered to be far away
that
Change preposition
from that
show examples
situation.
On the other hand
, being without colleagues during spare moments
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
many advantages which family
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
and
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
of being alone are some alternatives.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
side that individuals may spend
time
with family members and relatives who usually have more mutual
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
and entertainment.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
brothers are more familiar together generally.
This
option can enhance the quality and convenience of
fun
Add an article
a fun
show examples
time
. Another side is the best for the introvert who
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
to do activities alone and escape from
bustle
Add an article
the bustle
show examples
of
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. They can select
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
home or go out individually and enjoy their
time
in their
Correct word choice
own manners
show examples
manners
Fix the agreement mistake
manner
show examples
. It can be
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
choice for them not to get involved
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
different repeated conversations. What has been discussed can be summarized as follows
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
free
time
has been one of the important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of human life. Some suppose that people may have an interesting
time
with their colleagues which I cannot subscript
this
thought
overall
,
although
a few can be attracted to these opinions.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay clearly with a distinct introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should seamlessly flow into the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more pronounced. Begin with a clearer statement of your position and conclude by summarizing your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to better support your argument. Making your examples more specific can significantly improve your essay's persuasion.
General
Work on your grammar and punctuation. This will not only make your arguments clearer but also more professional and easier to follow.
General
Try practicing with a wide range of vocabulary to more precisely express your ideas and to avoid repetition. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
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