IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the society should be based on rules and laws. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #rules #laws
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Opinions are divided on whether
publish
Wrong verb form
publishing
show examples
 has to follow regulations. I completely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
need
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needs
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 to
based
Add a missing verb
be based
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 on
laws
. On
field
Correct article usage
the field
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which
Change preposition
in which
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laws
 play a significant role is that of
limited
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limiting
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 the number of
criminal
Change to a plural noun
criminals
show examples
.
Evidense
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Evidence
for
Change preposition
of
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this
 can be seen in the fact that there
are
Wrong verb form
was
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 a lot of
fightings
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fighting
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 before without
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
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 law system some of which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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heavily hurt others
whereas
 now majorities
who
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apply
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might be quite angry but avoid
to break
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breaking
show examples
 the
laws
 because they would face
penalty
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penalties
show examples
 and prison life if they break them. Luckily, these regulations build people's awareness of
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 which are caused by their behaviours, greatly contributing to a safe community.
As a result
, when people feel they are in a
safey
Correct your spelling
safe
 atmosphere, they would more likely to
focues
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focus
 on their jobs, studies and families.
Then
, it will
inprove
Correct your spelling
improve
 people's life
saitisfaction
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satisfaction
.
Consequently
, their quality of life will be improved as well. Apart from the safety
aspact
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aspect
aspects
, a number of business activities have
also
 thrived under a
well-srtructure
Correct your spelling
well-structured
well-structure
 law country and
cooperations
Fix the agreement mistake
cooperation
show examples
 between companies have fully supported.
For instance
, based on business
laws
,
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 between different brands can keep a healthy track, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it helps to build
a
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apply
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healthy marketing.
This
 is
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 if some companies break rules and gain short-term money, they will be punished by certain
laws
,
as well as
penalty
Add an article
a penalty
show examples
 may be higher than their profits.
Therefore
, most companies will follow
laws
 to develop their businesses, which can help to form a strong
regulate
Wrong verb form
regulated
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 market, increasing business cooperation
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, which can
also
 improve the economy. In conclusion, regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 public environment and the
thrival
Correct your spelling
thrill
 economy mentioned above show that regulations are
necessoary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
This
 shows that the proposition that society should follow rules and
laws
 is true.
Submitted by careyche on

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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. More detailed and varied examples will strengthen your argument.
complete response
Ensure that your essay directly answers the question, covering all aspects of the task. Provide a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully by explaining how they relate to the question and expanding on them with more information or examples.
relevant specific examples
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