These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However others believe that it make life more difficult for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays there is a
tendancy
to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.Correct your spelling
tendency
While
a faction of people holds
the notion that Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
this
movement is challanging
for juveniles, others argue that it is better for Correct your spelling
challenging
children
. This
essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view.
First and foremost, the people who opponent for
the movement Change preposition
apply
of
foreign countries for Change preposition
to
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
cliam
that Correct your spelling
claim
this
will detrimental
Add a missing verb
be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
children
since they are away from their home country
. In other words
, the children
will not understand their mother
culture and Change noun form
mother's
language
which may affect for
the future. Change preposition
apply
Besides
, As juveniles may be take
Change the verb form
take
long
time to adapt Change the article
a long
with
Change preposition
to
new
school environment and Add an article
the new
peoples
, Fix the agreement mistake
people
schooling
of adolescents would affect by the Correct article usage
the schooling
relocation
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
For example
, the kids who move from from
Remove the redundancy
apply
english
speaking Change the capitalization
English
country
to Correct article usage
a non-english
non-english
Change the capitalization
non-English
speakig
Correct your spelling
speaking
country
may challanging
to understand lessons in a different Correct your spelling
challenging
language
.
Nevertheless
, although
children
have some difficulties to adpat
new environment, there are ample Correct your spelling
a
benefit
for Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
relocation
. Firstly
, the most obvious advantage is learning of
different languages. In detail, since Change preposition
apply
early
age is the perfect time to learn Add an article
an early
new
Add an article
a new
language
, relocation
would help them to fluent in more languages. Understanding different culture
is important to have a global perspective, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
Correct word choice
and aldolascents
aldolascents
may get Correct your spelling
adolescents
adolescent
also
this
from shifting to different
Add an article
a different
country
. Fix the agreement mistake
countries
Moreover
, shifting to different geogrphical
Correct your spelling
geographical
area
may Fix the agreement mistake
areas
proive
them to chance to live in a various landscape. Correct your spelling
give
For example
, movement
of a family from Canada to Australia Correct article usage
the movement
provide
a chance to explore not only different natural Change the verb form
provides
habitat
but Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
also
different weather. Finally
, as the adolascent
age is the bonding time, undeniably, with their friends, the juvenile may get more friends Correct your spelling
adolescent
aroung
the world as Correct your spelling
around
significant
benefit of the Add an article
a significant
relocation
.
In conclusion, Although
lack of understanding of own culture and language
is the most prominent disadvantage of the
Correct article usage
apply
relocation
for job
, learning more languages and Add an article
a job
explore
various Wrong verb form
exploring
geographys
are the significant merits. Ergo, I believe that Correct your spelling
geographies
geography
relocation
is beneficial for the children
,Submitted by ck.manshad on
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task response
To improve your task response, make sure to address the essay prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively. While you have discussed both views, your essay could be improved by providing more balanced development of each viewpoint. Also, ensure that your own opinion is clear and well-supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For a better score in coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more logically. This includes having clear topic sentences that summarise the main idea of each paragraph, and using a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure paragraphs are well-organized and each paragraph should discuss a single main idea.
language accuracy
Work on proofreading your essay to correct spelling errors (e.g., 'opponent' instead of 'oppose', 'challanging' instead of 'challenging'), grammatical mistakes, and ensure the correct use of articles. Also, aim for a more formal tone by avoiding contractions and colloquial expressions where possible.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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