These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However others believe that it make life more difficult for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life

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Nowadays there is a

tendancy

Correct your spelling

tendency

to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.

While

Linking Words

a faction of people

holds

Correct subject-verb agreement

hold

show examples

the notion that

this

Linking Words

movement is

challanging

Correct your spelling

challenging

for juveniles, others argue that it is better for

children

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view. First and foremost, the people who opponent

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the movement

Change preposition

show examples

foreign countries for

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

cliam

Correct your spelling

claim

that

this

Linking Words

will

detrimental

Add a missing verb

be detrimental

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

since they are away from their home

country

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, the

children

Use synonyms

will not understand their

mother

Change noun form

mother's

show examples

culture and

language

Use synonyms

which may affect

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the future.

Besides

Linking Words

, As juveniles may

be take

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take

show examples

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time to adapt

with

Change preposition

show examples

new

Add an article

the new

show examples

school environment and

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

schooling

Correct article usage

the schooling

show examples

of adolescents would affect by the

relocation

Use synonyms

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, the kids who move from

from

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

speaking

country

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a non-english

show examples

non-english

Change the capitalization

non-English

show examples

speakig

Correct your spelling

speaking

country

Use synonyms

may

challanging

Correct your spelling

challenging

to understand lessons in a different

language

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

have some difficulties to

adpat

Correct your spelling

new environment, there are ample

benefit

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benefits

show examples

for

relocation

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, the most obvious advantage is learning

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apply

show examples

different languages. In detail, since

early

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an early

show examples

age is the perfect time to learn

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

language

Use synonyms

relocation

Use synonyms

would help them to fluent in more languages. Understanding different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

is important to have a global perspective,

Correct word choice

and aldolascents

show examples

aldolascents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

adolescent

may get

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

from shifting to

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

Use synonyms

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, shifting to different

geogrphical

Correct your spelling

geographical

area

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areas

show examples

may

proive

Correct your spelling

give

them to chance to live in a various landscape.

For example

Linking Words

movement

Correct article usage

the movement

show examples

of a family from Canada to Australia

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

a chance to explore not only different natural

habitat

Fix the agreement mistake

habitats

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

different weather.

Finally

Linking Words

, as the

adolascent

Correct your spelling

adolescent

age is the bonding time, undeniably, with their friends, the juvenile may get more friends

aroung

Correct your spelling

around

the world as

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

benefit of the

relocation

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

Although

Linking Words

lack of understanding of own culture and

language

Use synonyms

is the most prominent disadvantage of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relocation

Use synonyms

for

job

Add an article

a job

show examples

, learning more languages and

explore

Wrong verb form

exploring

show examples

various

geographys

Correct your spelling

geographies

geography

are the significant merits. Ergo, I believe that

relocation

Use synonyms

is beneficial for the

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by ck.manshad on Wed Feb 14 2024

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task response

To improve your task response, make sure to address the essay prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively. While you have discussed both views, your essay could be improved by providing more balanced development of each viewpoint. Also, ensure that your own opinion is clear and well-supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

For a better score in coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more logically. This includes having clear topic sentences that summarise the main idea of each paragraph, and using a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure paragraphs are well-organized and each paragraph should discuss a single main idea.

language accuracy

Work on proofreading your essay to correct spelling errors (e.g., 'opponent' instead of 'oppose', 'challanging' instead of 'challenging'), grammatical mistakes, and ensure the correct use of articles. Also, aim for a more formal tone by avoiding contractions and colloquial expressions where possible.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However others believe that it make life more difficult for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people are involved in sports when they are young but strobo they are adult. Why do many does stop doing physical exercises what can be done about this problem?

Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents. What is the reason? What problems can this cause?

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from the government than students in other fields (e.g. business, language). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the use of computers in primary and secondary schools makes education more enjoyable and efficient, while others believe that too much dependence on computers causes both physical and emotional problems. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.