You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter ro the singer. In your letter . say how you feel about his performance . give details of your musical activities . explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities
Dear Sir,
I am writing
this
letter to exhibit my feelings regarding your live music that was held yesterday at Cambridge hall
in Delhi and I was there in the concert as a part of the audience.
I want to say that your songs were really inspiring and motivating as I am your big fan and I have heard all your songs that always exhilarate my confidence and give me inner peace. Capitalize word
Hall
However
, I had a lot of fun when you performed I felt magic in the air also
the lyrics was
super powerful to encourage the crowd. Change the verb form
were
Moreover
, I could not stopped
myself Change the verb form
stop
to dance
Change preposition
from dancing
thus
last
night was the
memorable and enjoyable for me.
I am Change the article
apply
also
musician
by profession and I have 10 years of experience in the same field. I play guitar and drums and perform for the local clubs. Add an article
a musician
In addition
, daily practice makes me perfect however
, I have requested you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
if
you Correct word choice
that
could
allow me to join your group for two hours Verb problem
apply
in
a day which will help me to learn work ethic and professionalism that will polish my skills and talent.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
SamChange preposition
apply
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on
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Tone & Formality
Focus on maintaining a formal tone throughout the letter for consistency. Variations in tone can make the letter feel less professional. For instance, phrases like 'I could not stopped myself to dance' might be too informal for a letter to a professional musician you haven't met personally.
Grammar & Punctuation
Improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation throughout the letter. Errors in sentence construction and punctuation can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your message. Consider revising sentences for better flow and correctness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance cohesion by connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Currently, each paragraph introduces a new topic abruptly. You could use transition words or phrases to create a more seamless flow from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
To better address the task, you could expand on how specifically you hope the singer can help you with your musical activities. Are there specific skills, techniques, or types of guidance you're seeking? This detail will make your request more concrete and actionable.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite