IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 and its predicted year in 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 and its predicted year in 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The proffered line chart provides information about the
rates
Use synonyms
 of
birth
Use synonyms
 and death changes in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Broadly, it is readily noticeable that the number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 experienced a
significance
Replace the word
significant
show examples
 growth compared to the
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 which showed
the the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend in its projection. In terms of
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
, it started at a fifth per cent at the beginning of the period
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and showed a fluctuation data between 1910 and 1931.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
rates
Use synonyms
 reported fast growth and peaked at approximately
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
. It fluctuated but still
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 a decrease, it is predicted to decline in 2101
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 45%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a huge improvement related to the
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a slight fluctuation
shown
Add a missing verb
was shown
show examples
 from 1901 to 2001.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the trend plummeted and it is
forcasted
Correct your spelling
forecasted
forecast
 to increase considerably in 2061. Interestingly, the
rates
Use synonyms
 of
Birth
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand will be reported stable in percentage as it is predicted to be quite constant in 2101.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, birth with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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