IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The proffered pie chart provides information about the
reasons
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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citizens take their
work
Use synonyms
 destinations by two transportation (cars and bicycles).
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily noticeable that health and fitness and less pollution purposes become the main
reasons
Use synonyms
 why people travel to
work
Use synonyms
 by
bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in terms of
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
 goal, the highest percentage conveyed that reason.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, commonalities
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 are shown for two primary
reasons
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as health and fitness and less pollution. Those factors dominated for those who cycle to
work
Use synonyms
. They account for below a third per cent and other
reasons
Use synonyms
 contributed 12%, 13%, and 15% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the biggest fraction (40%),
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 feel comfortable when driving a car,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is followed by the distance issue, which accounts for just 21%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another reason
other reasons
show examples
reasons
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as faster than cycling and consideration of things to
work
Use synonyms
, they show
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same fraction
that is
Linking Words
 at 14%.
In addition
Linking Words
, a tiny proportion comes from a safer reason, it contributes just 11%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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