A person's worth currently seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, social status and prosperity play necessary roles in how the community respect each other’s. The socialites are not seeing the values of honour and kindness as vital ones in their surroundings anymore. Personally, I disagree with
this
notion because every people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
have
the right to be Correct subject-verb agreement
has
respectedrespect
.
On the one hand, the majority of Correct your spelling
respected
people
think that money
can buy everything including respect. In important situations, for instance
, they have personal chairs to sit in front of many people
, allowing them to feel more
superior Correct quantifier usage
apply
than
others. Change preposition
to
That is
the impact of the money
that distinguishes their appearance as fancier than others. Moreover
, well-known people
who come from rich families are likely to obtain jobs easily. They have lots of money
to pay the enter-requirements, when they are not able to fulfil it, thereby they would have a good position in workplaces.
On the other hand
, I believe those aforementioned advantages cannot be the vital reasons why people
should be respectedrespect
. Correct your spelling
respected
Firstly
, people
cannot judge each other just because one individuals have low status. We are able to see the impact of each individual in society, which is more important than having millions of wage
. Being able to help everyone who Fix the agreement mistake
wages
need
it, Change the verb form
needs
for example
, can be a crucial aspect of respectingdignity
those individuals. More importantly, respect and being kind are basic manners that everyone must do in their Correct your spelling
respecting dignity
life
, allowing the residents to have better environments and healthy social life
.
In conclusion, money
and a prosperous family are important in some ways of our life
, but respecting each other no matter what our status is the basic Fix the agreement mistake
lives
needs
and Fix the agreement mistake
need
obligations
to Fix the agreement mistake
obligation
life
as a part of the community.Replace the word
live
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more directly addressing the essay question. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
Task Achievement
While providing examples or arguing a point, it would enhance your essay to include specific, detailed examples rather than general statements. Specific examples lend more credibility to your arguments and make them more compelling.
General
Check your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Aim for clarity and simplicity in your writing to ensure that your ideas are communicated effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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