IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to the main subjects. Others belive opositely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #belive
Career
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 important
while
 studying in universities. It is widely
arguing
Wrong verb form
argued
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 that
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
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 focus to be on
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 subject for good
qualification
while
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 subjects are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the interest of other students. I will discuss both these points and will explain my opinion in
this
 essay. On one hand,
firstly
,
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 who encompass activities with
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
show examples
 curriculum can
broad
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
 their
horizones
Correct your spelling
horizons
 with a wide range of experience.
In other words
, different kinds of activities give new skills to achieve the target
such
 as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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, critical thinking,
analytical
Correct word choice
and analytical
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 reasoning which lead to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right decision at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right time in future.
Secondly
, if a student
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 co-subjects including photography, sports and digital editing technology with
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
 subject not only they can
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 knowledge from the primary
qualification
 but
also
 have new ideas and information regarding other fields which
signify
Correct subject-verb agreement
signifies
show examples
 them as a multi-talented person.
For instance
, most of the job interviews check extra skills and knowledge with their
qualification
.
Therefore
, many universities around the world promote and facilitate
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities by giving credits for co-subjects in the curriculum which have to be calculated with their total credits to decide the division of class for graduation.
On the other hand
, if a student involves more in co-studies, the learner may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 less time for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 studies and some pupils have no interest
to complete
Change preposition
in completing
show examples
 the course.
As a result
, they can not achieve the required score for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
degree completion. It will
further
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 an impact on
Correct pronoun usage
their psycological
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psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 when they enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society without a
qualification
. In conclusion, equal involvements in main
as well as
 co-subjects enhance a wide range of career pathways with various skills and knowledge rather than focusing
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 on
required
Add an article
the required
show examples
 field. I believe that students can become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multi-talented
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 without mental problems with
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper planning and time management.
Submitted by gaya002.nesa on

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task response
Ensure a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your opinion to fully address the task.
task response
Develop your arguments with more specific examples to enhance clarity and relevance.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check for and correct grammatical errors and typos to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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