Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern times, the majority of people
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
to hard
work
Use synonyms
to accomplish
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their life
work
Use synonyms
long
hours
Use synonyms
may lead
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
. So, the essay will explain
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
causes of
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
and the ways to survive working
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time throughout the day as peaceful. The important
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
factor to
motivates
Wrong verb form
motivate
show examples
that
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
work
Use synonyms
long
hours
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, earning money beyond
normally
Change the word
normal
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
because if they have extra time after finishing
work
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
they will get money double in standard
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
by law
determine
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
reaching the goal before
deadline
Add an article
the deadline
show examples
, if
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
work
Use synonyms
overtime which helps
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
work
Use synonyms
early and can
work
Use synonyms
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
projects, so
mark
Verb problem
it will make
show examples
more profit as well.
Third,
Linking Words
showing commitment; if
collaborates
Replace the word
collaborators
show examples
or
boss
Correct article usage
the boss
show examples
might notice your commitment to your role and results, that can help you if you seek a promotion or
ark
Correct your spelling
ask
show examples
for a
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
salary.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, hard
work
Use synonyms
has
advantaged
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
, but
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
impact
Add an article
an impact
the impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
as well,
such
Linking Words
relate stress
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
work
Use synonyms
or boss and worst case may
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we can avoid hard
work
Use synonyms
so,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
should do 3 tips that can make
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
throughout the day to day as simple without
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
creating a detailed to-do list, that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
know
Verb problem
apply
show examples
what to do a priority first or
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
how long to do each
work
Use synonyms
, which deals
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
with work
show examples
as
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people lack
of
Correct article usage
a of
show examples
quantity sleep
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
can not
to concentrated
Verb problem
concentrate
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
on work
show examples
, so you should sleep 6-7
hours
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night before you go to
work
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
take a break when you feel
tried
Correct your spelling
tired
show examples
and take a nap for 5-10 minutes or walk to the garden and try to look for the trees,
birds
Correct word choice
and birds
show examples
that make you relax,
additionally
Linking Words
, bring some
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
and
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
when you feel
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, people try to improve themselves
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
money through hard
work
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
, they have
affected
Add a missing verb
been affected
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. So, they should learn to eliminate stress
for
Correct word choice
so
show examples
they do
work
Use synonyms
as efficacy
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
the essay
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
paragraph 3.
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically with clear, distinct paragraphs. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs (each discussing a single idea), and end with a conclusion. This structure helps guide the reader through your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the question. The introduction should outline what will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the key points made and restate your position without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more informative and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Try to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both the reasons for the issue and the measures employers can take to alleviate it. Incorporating examples or case studies can help make your arguments more compelling.
Task Achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing them logically and expressing them more precisely. Avoid overly complex sentences if they compromise the clarity of your argument. Simple, clear language is more effective than complicated vocabulary used incorrectly.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. Real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can help illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: