IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

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Introduction
More and more people wonder if It is
possibile
Correct your spelling
possible
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
colleagues
Use synonyms
 and friends at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays, many bosses and human resources want to step up the importance of
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 between
colleagues
Use synonyms
 to increase the company revenue. Good vibes, more
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, more people use to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with
colleagues
Use synonyms
 only to enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 them,
therefore
Linking Words
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 it is essential to have some relationship, regardless what it is the real nature of
relation
Add an article
the relation
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
Firstly
Linking Words
, It will be easy to organize
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
show examples
, because there is a possibility
to stay
Change preposition
of staying
show examples
 all
togheter
Correct your spelling
together
 every
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
Another pro is meeting new friends in the workplace
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since It will be funnier and the
work
Use synonyms
 shift can be more chill.
Body paragraph 5
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there would be some cons. If you don’t like the same activities or tastes, It might be difficult
getting
Wrong verb form
to get
show examples
 out with your
colleagues
Use synonyms
. The
time
Use synonyms
 is precious and we should spend our
time
Use synonyms
 as we like.
Body paragraph 6
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 If there
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 some discussions between
colleagues
Use synonyms
, It might be heavy to
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 7
For instance
Linking Words
: I have an opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
 in a beautiful place, so my
colleagues
Use synonyms
 and I
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 getting out all
togheter
Correct your spelling
together
, having a
picknick
Correct your spelling
picnic
 and to go to hiking
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the mountains.
Last
Linking Words
 week
while
Linking Words
 I was working, we discussed a lot and It was difficult for me
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
 well
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day.
Conclusion
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, I don’t know if it is a good thing to spend free
time
Use synonyms
 with
colleauges
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, anyway I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 a personal
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
, and there
aren’t
Change the verb form
isn’t
show examples
 a good or bad decision.

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Grammar
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy throughout your essay. Correcting errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar will significantly improve your writing.
Structure
Your essay would benefit greatly from a clearer structure. Consider beginning with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your thesis. This should be followed by body paragraphs that discuss your main points with supporting arguments and examples, and a concluding paragraph that summarises your stance.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
Content
To improve your task achievement score, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. This involves providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, supported by specific examples or evidence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
What to do next:
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