Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?
Nowadays, many bosses and human resources want to step up the importance of
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
between
colleagues
Use synonyms
to increase the company revenue. Good vibes, more
work
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, more people use to spend their
time
Use synonyms
with
colleagues
Use synonyms
only to enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
them,
therefore
Linking Words
I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
it is essential to have some relationship, regardless what it is the real nature of
relation
Add an article
the relation
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
Firstly
Linking Words
, It will be easy to organize
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
show examples
, because there is a possibility
to stay
Change preposition
of staying
show examples
all
togheter
Correct your spelling
together
every
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
Another pro is meeting new friends in the workplace
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since It will be funnier and the
work
Use synonyms
shift can be more chill.
Body paragraph 5
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
there would be some cons. If you don’t like the same activities or tastes, It might be difficult
getting
Wrong verb form
to get
show examples
out with your
colleagues
Use synonyms
. The
time
Use synonyms
is precious and we should spend our
time
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as we like.
Body paragraph 6
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
If there
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
some discussions between
colleagues
Use synonyms
, It might be heavy to
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 7
For instance
Linking Words
: I have an opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
in a beautiful place, so my
colleagues
Use synonyms
and I
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
getting out all
togheter
Correct your spelling
together
, having a
picknick
Correct your spelling
picnic
and to go to hiking
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the mountains.
Last
Linking Words
week
while
Linking Words
I was working, we discussed a lot and It was difficult for me
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
well
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day.
Conclusion
Last
Linking Words
but not least, I don’t know if it is a good thing to spend free
time
Use synonyms
with
colleauges
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, anyway I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that is
Linking Words
a personal
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
, and there
aren’t
Change the verb form
isn’t
show examples
a good or bad decision.
bollinielisa4
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Grammar
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy throughout your essay. Correcting errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar will significantly improve your writing.
Structure
Your essay would benefit greatly from a clearer structure. Consider beginning with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your thesis. This should be followed by body paragraphs that discuss your main points with supporting arguments and examples, and a concluding paragraph that summarises your stance.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
Content
To improve your task achievement score, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. This involves providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, supported by specific examples or evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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