IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyles prevent further damage. What are your views?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently scientists worried
climate
Change preposition
about climate
show examples
 change have urged governments to introduce measures to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions that are seen as its main cause. Simultaneously, politicians and environmentalists urged
individuals
Use synonyms
 to make changes to their lifestyles. I shall argue that governments and
individuals
Use synonyms
 should
join
Verb problem
take
show examples
 responsibility for
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, industry for a large proportion of greenhouse gas emissions, and
this
Linking Words
 can only be controlled by government action. Measures could taken to discourage pollution,
such
Linking Words
 as limiting or taxing the use of fossil fuels. Alternatively, subsidies could offered to industries to clean up their production processes. If these were adopted, I believe that businesses would regard pollution as a financial issue.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the discussion between governments can ensure that solutions are successful. The Kyoto
agreement
Capitalize word
Agreement
show examples
,
example
Change preposition
for example
show examples
, tried to reach a global agreement on how to address the problem. Without
such
Linking Words
operating
Replace the word
operations
show examples
, it seems to me that efforts to reduce fuel consumption are unlikely to be effective.
However
Linking Words
, national international policies will only succeed if
individuals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 change their lifestyles.
For example
Linking Words
, could think more carefully about how they use energy in their homes. By using less electricity, installing efficient light bulbs and electrical appliances, or investing in solar panels,
individuals
Use synonyms
 can make a real difference.
In addition
Linking Words
, I think individual attitudes to transport need
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of making trips by car, people could choose to walk, cycle, or take a bus. Since cars
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
major source of the problem, changing our
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 area would have a major impact. In conclusion, I would maintain only a combination of an international agreement, national policies, and changes in individual
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 will succeed in preventing
further
Linking Words
 damage to the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, each distinctly marking the beginning and end of the discussion. Your essay does well in this regard, but refining and making your conclusions more impactful could help.
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with detailed examples or explanations to support your argument. Adding more specific examples or case studies related to climate change actions could enhance your argument's credibility.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence, work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. Using cohesive devices like conjunctions and transition words can help link ideas more clearly.
Complete Response
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the question, showing a deep understanding of the topic at hand. While your essay addresses the topic, delving deeper into how and why individuals and governments can share responsibility could provide a more complete response.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
To sharpen the clarity of your ideas, consider structuring your paragraphs around a single main idea. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations, examples, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the essay’s overall argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: