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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps represent the current state of the university
sports
 centre infrastructure and future plans for how it is going to be renovated.
Overall
, the main part of the
sports
 centre remains the same.
However
, some of the areas will be completely redeveloped, new rooms will be built and the university campus will be doubled in size. The current architecture of the university consists of
25-meter-long
Correct article usage
a 25-meter-long
show examples
pool
 with surrounding facilities like
changing
Correct article usage
a changing
show examples
 room, seating and a gym. It
also
 has two outdoor courts on the left and right of the swimming
pool
. To the south of the
pool
 is a main entrance with a reception zone. The proposed changes are related to the extension and development of new objects. The existing items like outdoor courts will be replaced. The court on the west will be replaced by a leisure
pool
,
whereas
 the court on the east will be substituted by a
sports
 hall and two dance studios next to each other.
Moreover
, on the south side of the reception will be added two changing rooms. The main gate will have a
sports
 shop on the left and a cafe on the right.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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Sentence Variety
To further enhance the essay, consider a more diverse range of sentence structures to avoid repetition and keep the reader engaged. Varying your sentence construction can make your writing more compelling and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Comparison Emphasis
While the essay provides a good comparison between the current state and the proposed changes of the university's sports centre, consider explicitly contrasting these features more frequently throughout the essay. This will make the differences more pronounced and easier for readers to grasp.
Introduction and Conclusion Enhancement
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly set up what the reader can expect in the essay, and the conclusion should summarize the main points more conclusively, highlighting the significance of the redevelopment.
Use of Transitional Phrases
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement and Coherence and Cohesion, make sure every paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next. Transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument or description, ensuring there's a clear path from the beginning to the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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