People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?
Nowadays, a
lot
men and women are no longer as healthy as they used to be in the past. Add the preposition
lot of
This
is due to
a plethora of factors which include the following; lack of exercises
, eating unhealthy fast Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
foods
and advancement
of technology to Correct article usage
the advancement
emtion
only a few. To deal with these problems, education and awareness Correct your spelling
mention
emotion
campaigns
can be implemented nationwide, schools
can make physical activities
compulsory at school and gym fares can be reduced to motivate people
to exercise. More importantly, adverts on the benefits of eating organic food
can be shown frequently on all media platforms.
To begin
with, the majority of people
in the world are no longer healthy due to
the lack of physical activities
in the day to day
lives. Correct your spelling
their day-to-day
This
is attributed to the fact that due to
the advancement in technology, people
are no longer doing a lot
of things mannually
. Correct your spelling
manually
For instance
, the coming of modern cars has resulted in people
using vehicles to travel wherever they want even if there will be a very short distance involved. Back then
especially in developing countries such
as Zimbababwe
, Correct your spelling
Zimbabwe
Zambia
among others, Correct word choice
and Zambia
people
used to plough, cut trees, harvest
manually before modern agricultural Correct word choice
and harvest
eqjuipment
was introduced. Correct your spelling
equipment
Thus
, human beings these days are now relying more on using machines rather than manual labour and this
has reduced the physical activities
that
is
required by the body thereby resulting in diseases Change the verb form
are
such
as shortness of breath,heart problems, obesity
to mention only a few.
More so, the consumption of fast Correct word choice
and obesity
foods
has also
resulted in a lot
of people
becoming unfit. This
is because fast foods
are regarded as unprocessed food
and therefore
have got
minimum benefits to our health. Back in the Verb problem
apply
days
, our Fix the agreement mistake
day
fore-fathers
used to eat organic Correct your spelling
forefathers
food
for example
ground nuts, beans, wild fruits among others. It is important to mention that these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
food
was essential in mantaining
the wellness of their bodies as their immune system was always boosted. Correct your spelling
maintaining
However
, nowadays, a lot
of people
are now addicted to quick food
such
as fries, roasted chicken, burgers, hot
dogs to mention only a few. In Correct word choice
and hot
this
regard, it can be noted that consuming such
food
has led to alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
healthy
problems Replace the word
health
such
as diabetes, High
blood pressure among others.
To address the mentioned Correct your spelling
and high
probles
above, education and awareness Correct your spelling
problems
campaigns
can be of great importance. This
is because a lot
of people
might be doing unhealthy habits not knowing the side effects involved. The campaigns
can be done at schools
, churches, in town or any places
where Fix the agreement mistake
place
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
people
will be gathered. Change preposition
of people
Furthermore
, physical activities
can be made compulsory at schools
so that the children can grow up knowing the benefits of living a healthy life style
. It is Correct your spelling
lifestyle
also
important to encourage the
Correct article usage
apply
people
about the advantages of eating organic food
so that they can aim to live a life that is
free from unhealthy foods
.
In conclusion, lack of exercises
and consumption of unhealthy processed Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
food
has
compromised the fitness of a Correct subject-verb agreement
have
lot
of males and females. To solve theses
challenges, education and awareness Correct your spelling
these
campaigns
and making physical activities
compulsory at schools
can go a long way in keeping the world healthy.Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on
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Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt, covering both causes and solutions regarding the decline in fitness levels. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer articulation of main ideas and more specific examples that directly relate to the points made.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay uses paragraphing effectively to separate ideas. To enhance coherence further, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. While generic statements are made about the detrimental effects of modern technology and fast food, specific, real-world examples could significantly strengthen your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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