some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes

There is a common

Replace the word

belief

show examples

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

high school programmes should

icloud

Correct your spelling

include

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unpaid community service like working for a charity

for example

. And

Change the capitalization

show examples

absluotly

Correct your spelling

absolutely

agree with that because

became

Change the form of the verb

becoming

show examples

a volunteer is going to help the students to gain more skills and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

new friends . Working

Change preposition

show examples

open

Add an article

the open

an open

show examples

area with a lot of humans with

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

belives

Correct your spelling

believes

show examples

race

Fix the agreement mistake

races

show examples

and

persotalitys

Correct your spelling

personalities

personality

it for sure is going to help you to hone your skills.Take

for example

the fear of talking with

strengers

Correct your spelling

strangers

interacting with

Correct your spelling

people

peolpe

Correct your spelling

people

will improve your ability to go through that fear

Reacent

Correct your spelling

Recent

study from WHO said that nowadays high school pupils have a serious issue with making new friends. And another one

also

emphasized that working as a

voliteer

Correct your spelling

volunteer

will

provied

Correct your spelling

provide

provided

to you

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

opportonites

Correct your spelling

opportunity

opportunities

to have

a new friends

Correct the article-noun agreement

a new friend

new friends

show examples

. In

conclesion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, high school

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

must involve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

voluntary community work for the reason

tha

Correct your spelling

that

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

many

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

like making new

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

and

refin

Correct your spelling

refining

your skills.

Submitted by zx00154 on Fri Feb 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction could more directly state the topic and your stance. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments without introducing new information.

grammar

Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'common believe', 'absluotly', and 'reacent' distract from your message. Consider using a spell checker or reviewing your grammar.

content

Use specific examples to support your arguments. You mention a WHO study, but providing more detail or additional examples could strengthen your essay.

cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more clearly and using cohesive devices effectively. Phrases like 'Take for example' and 'In conclusion' are good, but you need to ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.

vocabulary

Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Using a variety of words and phrases can make your writing more engaging and articulate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

161 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
When it comes to language education, there are differing opinions. Some believe that small class sizes are ideal for language learning, while others contend that the number of students does not impact the learning experience significantly. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（文化）
Regarding how to learn languages, some individuals support that a course with few people is the best while others suggest that the learning experience is not influenced by the number of participants. This essay will attempt to explain both views and why I believe that a small size class is more efficient.
7.5
band
You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.
I am writing to bring to your attention an issue connected to Mr. Sokolov, who was hired last week as a junior editor of our magazine.
5.5
band
In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that the primary purpose for heading to various shopping centres will only be for recreation rather than buying groceries and other necessities in the foreseeable future. While I agree with the idea to some extent, it is my firm belief that shopping reason will never be replaced by any forms of entertainment.
5
band
Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Protecting our living habitat has become an important topic in the twenty first century. Many believe that it is government's duty to safeguard the environment, while the others believe that it should be done by the individuals. I believe that safeguarding should be equally shared by both parties.
5.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
At the moment it's very important what kind of job do you have, and people try to find the better type to be able to have more time for themself and fewer hours if is possible.

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes

Fully explain your ideas

When it comes to language education, there are differing opinions. Some believe that small class sizes are ideal for language learning, while others contend that the number of students does not impact the learning experience significantly. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（文化）

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?