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Band 2.5

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes
There is a common
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belief
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believe
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belief
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about
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that
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 high school programmes should
icloud
Correct your spelling
include
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apply
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an
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apply
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unpaid community service like working for a charity
for example
. And
i
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I
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 am
absluotly
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absolutely
 agree with that because
became
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becoming
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 a volunteer is going to help the students to gain more skills and
making
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make
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 new friends . Working
on
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in
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open
Add an article
the open
an open
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 area with a lot of humans with
diffrent
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different
belives
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believes
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,
race
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races
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 and
persotalitys
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personalities
personality
 it for sure is going to help you to hone your skills.Take
for example
 the fear of talking with
strengers
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strangers
 interacting with
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people
peolpe
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people
 will improve your ability to go through that fear
Reacent
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Recent
 study from WHO said that nowadays high school pupils have a serious issue with making new friends. And another one
also
 emphasized that working as a
voliteer
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volunteer
 will
provied
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provide
provided
 to you
a
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apply
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opportonites
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opportunity
opportunities
 to have
a new friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new friend
new friends
show examples
. In
conclesion
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conclusion
, high school
programms
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programmes
programs
 must involve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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voluntary community work for the reason
tha
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that
 it
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 many
benfits
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benefits
 like making new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 and
refin
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refining
 your skills.
Submitted by zx00154 on

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structure
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction could more directly state the topic and your stance. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments without introducing new information.
grammar
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'common believe', 'absluotly', and 'reacent' distract from your message. Consider using a spell checker or reviewing your grammar.
content
Use specific examples to support your arguments. You mention a WHO study, but providing more detail or additional examples could strengthen your essay.
cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly and using cohesive devices effectively. Phrases like 'Take for example' and 'In conclusion' are good, but you need to ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
vocabulary
Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Using a variety of words and phrases can make your writing more engaging and articulate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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