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Band 4.5

You are a general practitioner at a southport clinic.Tom cribb is your patient.Using the information in the case notes,write a letter of referral to urologist for CT scan and assessment.Address the letter:Dr B Coomber,Urologist,southport hospital,Gold coast.

#practitioner #southport #clinic #tom #cribb #patient #information #case #notes #urologist #ct #scan #address #dr #b #coomber #gold #coast
Iam
Correct your spelling
I am
 writing
this
 letter to refer Mr.
cribb
Change the capitalization
Cribb
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,who presented with
right
 lower
abdomen
pain
 and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a mass attached to his liver for
further
 investigation and assessment. Mr.
cribb
Change the capitalization
Cribb
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initially
 presented to
Correct article usage
the southport
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southport
Change the capitalization
Southport
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 clinic on 12/05/10 with
pain
 in
right
Add an article
the right
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 lower
abdomen
 which was very severe and radiating to the groin
associated
Correct word choice
and associated
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 with nausea for 3 days.
pain
Capitalize word
Pain
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 was relieved by
diclofenac
Correct article usage
a diclofenac
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 sodium 50mg suppository dose.I
adviced
Replace the word
advised
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 him to take diclofenac sodium 50mg twice a day for 5 days.I suggested Mr.
cribb
Change the capitalization
Cribb
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to
Remove the particle
apply
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do IVP and UFR tests and
in addition
,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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 drink more fluids and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do regular exercise. on his review on 14/05/10,he had no
pain
 and no new complaints.His IVP report showed
Correct article usage
a right
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right
Correct article usage
a right
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 enlarged kidney which was ectopic and his UFR showed few red cells. On his review today his ultrasound scan of
abdomen
Correct pronoun usage
his abdomen
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 shows signs of severe hydronephrosis and a mass attached to his liver.In between he had
right
 lower
abdomen
pain
 5 days back which was
Correct article usage
a responded
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responded
Replace the word
response
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 to panadol.on examination,a hard mass is felt in his
right
 lower
abdomen
. He is married and has no children.He is unemployed.he smokes 5-6 cigarettes per day and he
also
 drinks alcohol 2-5 units per week.His father has hypertension and his mother died at the age of 60
due to
 breast cancer. He has to get back to work in two weeks as he got a new job.
hence
,I'm referring him to you for
further
 investigation including
CT
Correct article usage
a CT
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 scan and
further
 assessment for a diagnosis and treatment plan. If you have any questions regarding him,feel free to contact me. yours sincerely, Doctor
Submitted by insighttribez on

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greeting and closing
Begin the letter with a formal greeting, such as 'Dear Dr. Coomber,' to establish a professional tone right from the start. This will immediately signal to the reader that it is a formal letter of referral.
logical structure
Organize the content into clear, distinct paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific aspect of Mr. Cribb's medical condition and history. For instance, one paragraph can focus on his initial symptoms and the treatment provided, another on follow-up visits and results, and a third on his lifestyle and family history. This will enhance the logical flow and make the letter easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions and linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next, reinforcing the cohesion of the letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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