IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #government #expenditure #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two pie charts compare the total expenses of a selected local
government
 on several nine different aspects in 2010 and 2015. Generally, the local
government
 reduced their expenditures on almost
aspects
Correct determiner usage
all aspects
show examples
. Meanwhile, only only few of them
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
either had a slight growth or
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same proportion from
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year.
Initially
, the local
government
 allocated 24%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their revenues for education purposes,
however
, it reduced to 21% a decade later. A similar trend
also
 occurred in terms of defence matters, as the income
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
 designated for 14%
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period, from its initial 17%. Even though the expenses for healthcare provisions had a slight decrease by one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, it still became the second prioritized aspect in both years.
In contrast
, the apportion
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cultural and recreational activities
as well as
 transports, only reached 2% and 3%, respectively, at the beginning of the period and hit equally one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the later year, which made them the smallest
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
.
On the other hand
, interest in borrowing and welfare
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
both obtained less budget from the local
government
 for only less than ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010, which doubled ten years later to 10% and 13%, respectively. Meanwhile, the squanderings for pensions and other purposes were steady throughout the given period.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words government with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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