IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families.Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

#people #countries #time #families #happen #effects
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In
resent
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recent
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 times most individuals live far from their families for many reasons,which affects their family members and themselves.
This
 essay will discuss the causes and effects
families
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of families
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 and
adjustmen
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adjustment
.
To begin
 with,establishing a better career is one of the main
reason
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reasons
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,which makes
students
 live far from their homes.Many
students
,lack
of
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apply
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better education in their local area,
as
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and as
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 a result,most
students
 move to cities for higher education.
Morever
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Moreover
,experienced people move abroad
look
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to look
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 for job development.
In addition
,most
students
 it is challenging
staying
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to stay
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 in
different
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a different
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 country
as a result
,they suffer some problems.
Such
 as
,
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apply
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homesickness,loneliness and much more.
Thus
,better jobs and educational prospects are some of the worthy causes
living
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of living
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 residing alone.
On the other hand
,living overseas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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a
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apply
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some advantages.
For instance
,they can gain qualifications.
Likewise
,they can learn foreign languages which may increase promotion prospects on your return.Plus,moving abroad can
improvement
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improve
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 your quality of life.In fact,
thousand
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thousands
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 of people from the UK move to Spanish and Australia every year.Some
teenegers
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teenagers
 fall into bad companies and commit crimes These situation
effects
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affects
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 their career and their life.
To conclude
,living far away from home
bring
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brings
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 several chances
while
 affecting
Correct article usage
an individuals
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individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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 life and
relationship
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relationships
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.So better jobs ,high
salary
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salaries
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,
livelihood
Correct word choice
and livelihood
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 encourage people to live away from their homes and families.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Focus on clearly outlining your ideas in both the introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the reasons and effects discussed, while your conclusion should summarize them effectively.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by connecting ideas more cohesively. Use transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs, ensuring smoother transitions between concepts.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will help in delivering your ideas more effectively and enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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