People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families.Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

#people #countries #time #families #happen #effects

resent

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recent

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times most individuals live far from their families for many reasons,which affects their family members and themselves.

This

essay will discuss the causes and effects

families

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of families

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and

adjustmen

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adjustment

To begin

with,establishing a better career is one of the main

reason

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reasons

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,which makes

students

live far from their homes.Many

students

,lack

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apply

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better education in their local area,

Correct word choice

and as

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a result,most

students

move to cities for higher education.

Morever

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Moreover

,experienced people move abroad

look

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to look

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for job development.

In addition

,most

students

it is challenging

staying

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to stay

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different

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a different

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country

as a result

,they suffer some problems.

Such

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apply

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homesickness,loneliness and much more.

Thus

,better jobs and educational prospects are some of the worthy causes

living

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of living

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residing alone.

On the other hand

,living overseas

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Remove the article

apply

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some advantages.

For instance

,they can gain qualifications.

Likewise

,they can learn foreign languages which may increase promotion prospects on your return.Plus,moving abroad can

improvement

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improve

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your quality of life.In fact,

thousand

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thousands

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of people from the UK move to Spanish and Australia every year.Some

teenegers

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teenagers

fall into bad companies and commit crimes These situation

effects

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affects

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their career and their life.

To conclude

,living far away from home

bring

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brings

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several chances

while

affecting

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an individuals

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individuals

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individuals'

individual's

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life and

relationship

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relationships

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.So better jobs ,high

salary

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salaries

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livelihood

Correct word choice

and livelihood

show examples

encourage people to live away from their homes and families.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Feb 16 2024

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task achievement

Focus on clearly outlining your ideas in both the introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the reasons and effects discussed, while your conclusion should summarize them effectively.

task achievement

Develop your main points more thoroughly with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by connecting ideas more cohesively. Use transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs, ensuring smoother transitions between concepts.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will help in delivering your ideas more effectively and enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families.Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Some people think that it is a good thing that senior managers have higher salaries than others workers of a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?