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Band 6

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparison
The diagram below illustrates the life cycle of
salmon
 which is a species of large
fish
.
Overall
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salmon
, 3 stages
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
leaving the
eggs
, fast flowing to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 river and going to
open
Correct article usage
the open
show examples
 sea. 
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 stage is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leaving
eggs
. The adult
fish
 leaves small stones and
salmon
eggs
 under the reeds,
approxemently
Correct your spelling
approximately
 for 5-6 months. After 5
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 the egg becomes a tiny
fish
, exactly a fry which is 3-8 cantimetres.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 stage is a fast flowing,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
process of
fry
Wrong verb form
frying
show examples
, going to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 river for 4 years. There the little fry becomes smolt, which size is about 12-15
cantimetres
Correct your spelling
centimetres
. The
last
 stage of
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 of growing
salmon
 is
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
 sea, which means smolt becomes an adult
salmon
 and
fish's
Correct article usage
the fish's
show examples
 size is 70-76
cantimetres
Correct your spelling
centimetres
. They are already grown to go to
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
 sea for 5 years and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they leave the
eggs
 and
continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
show examples
 the life cycle
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 repeating it
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, fish, eggs with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • species
  • freshwater
  • marine habitat
  • larvae
  • fry
  • smolts
  • spawn
  • anadromous
  • survival rates
  • migrate/migration
  • vulnerability
  • adaptation
  • maturation
  • environmental conditions
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